Rescue Me!
by Sazzy260
Summary: A broken engagement, a new relationship brought to light. Tragedy strikes for the new couple, can AJ help? Will Harm be forever stuck inside his own mind? And how can the rest of the "Gentleman's Club" help? Jethro, Tony, Clay, and Victor all have their own role in helping AJ and Harm survive their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

It had been a whole year, Harm was relatively happy with his life and the way things seemed to have turned out with their new Commanding Officer at JAG – The man gave a lot of tougher cases to the new lawyers, so Harm was working less and mentoring more, which led for stress-free days and even weekends now, Mac and He were finally on the same page. Hell, they were even finally talking about the future, but something deep down in Harm's gut, and mind, was nagging at him.

He was standing at McMurphy's with a draft beer in his hand, his friends and Mac surrounding him, everyone was congratulating them and talking about their announcement that they were now engaged. Harm had an uninterested half-smile on his face, but it faded quickly when he saw a pair of brown eyes flash before him, and they weren't Mac's eyes that he'd seen, "I'll be back in a minute." Harm stated as he set his beer down and made a beeline for the front door.

When he got outside, he looked both directions in the alley, he spotted the brown sports coat trying to make a hasty retreat, but his long legs carried him towards the form quickly "AJ…" Harm called out when he was within earshot of the man.

The bald man stopped and slowly turned around with a smirk on his face "Didn't think you'd recognized me." AJ said quietly as he moved to lean against the brick wall.

Harm shook his head, "How could I not? I've spent the better part of ten-years looking at you from all angles… What are you doing here?" Harm asked softly as he moved to stand beside AJ.

The older man sighed as he pulled his hands out of his pants pockets and wrapped his arms across his chest "Wanted to know if the rumors were true… See if you and Mac finally figured each other out… And, to say goodbye… Heard you were headed to London, _Captain_." AJ said softly, a slight chuckle escaping his lips that quickly faded at the lost look on Harm's face, "Harm? What's wrong?" AJ asked as he turned to face the younger man.

Harm shook his head slowly as he shifted on his feet and stared down at them "I can't marry her…" Harm whispered quietly, his eyes falling shut at the sadness in his own voice.

"Why? Harm… You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you…" AJ told him, settling his hand against Harm's shoulder, his finger gently caressing the new Captain's bars on Harm's mess dress uniform.

Harm nodded as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and fiddled with his keys for a second, removing one and holding it outward to AJ "You remember where I live, right?" he asked softly.

AJ nodded as he wrapped his fingers around the key, Harm and AJ's fingers lightly touching and sparking an electrical current through both of their bodies, "Ye-… Yeah, I remember. Don't be too much longer? I am an old man after all." AJ said with a wink as he carefully pulled the key from Harm's grasp and turned back down the alley, disappearing into the darkness.

* * *

Harm went back to McMurphy's with his head hung low as he looked down at the hand that AJ had just touched, the feel of their skin making contact, the heat from the older man. The thoughts he was now having were racing around in his mind at cataclysmic speeds, his heart was pounding to the beat of the music playing in the background as he returned to the bar and grabbed his now Luke-warm beer and downed the entirety of its contents.

Mac turned to her fiancé with a raised eyebrow "Are you alright?" she asked softly as she set her hand on Harm's elbow lightly.

Harm nodded as he motioned for the bartender for a refill "I'm fine… Think I'm going to head home after this last beer. Still have a lot of packing to do." Harm said quietly, shaking the thought of AJ being at the lot, sitting there and waiting for him.

"Do you… Want me to come back with you?" Mac asked tentatively, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched several emotions flit across Harm's face.

Harm shook his head slowly "No. I mean – I'd like for you too, but… The loft is a disaster right now… Trip to the ER is not on the itinerary for tonight. I'll just see you at the airport in the morning… If that's okay?" Harm asked as he grabbed his refilled beer and turned his back to the bar, leaning on it with his elbows as he took slow sips from his beer.

Mac sighed as she nodded her head slowly "That's fine. I have my own packing to do as well." Mac said with a sadness to her voice as she finished off her tonic water and smiled tentatively up at Harm.

Harm returned the smile halfheartedly as he leaned forward and kissed Mac's lips lightly, the fatal attraction he once had for this woman had seemed to have faded in a matter of seconds, and he knew the exact reason for the turn-around, "I'll see you later." Harm stated as he drained the remainder of his beer and grabbed his keys from his pocket, his shoulder hunched slightly as he walked out of the bar and towards his SUV.

* * *

Just as Harm put the key in the lock, Mac came up to him "Harm, are you sure you're okay to drive? You look a little out of sorts?" Mac asked softly as she stood behind him.

Harm nodded his head slowly "I'm _fine_ , Mac. I promise." Harm stated through clenched teeth, he hated lying to anyone, especially to someone who was his supposed fiancée, not that he had much experience in that department.

Mac sighed as she shrugged her shoulders, "Alright, but if you get into trouble on the way home… Don't say I didn't warn you." Mac said as she leaned up and kissed Harm on the lips again.

This time, Harm hardly participated in the kiss, and then sighed heavily as he slipped on a 'more-than-tired' look as he turned back to his SUV "I'll see you later, Mac." Harm said as he got into the car, started the engine and drove off without another word.

* * *

Harm pulled into the alleyway behind his loft ten minutes later and stared at the black Escalade parked there, "Very discreet." Harm said with a rueful chuckle as he turned his car off, and then looked up towards his loft windows, there didn't seem to be any lights on inside, Harm shrugged as he slid out of the SUV and began climbing the stairs, foregoing the elevator to give himself time to calm down by the time he got to his door and entered the apartment.

AJ was sitting at the breakfast bar with a bottle of scotch and two glasses at the ready, he turned and looked up at Harm with a smile on his face "Thought you'd chicken out and not come home!" AJ said with a chuckle.

Harm sighed as he shrugged out of his mess jacket and hung it on the coat rack "You're at my place, remember? If I'd said meet at _your_ house, I probably would have chickened out… But, I would have had to come home at some point, and it's hard to chicken out when you're already here." Harm stated, laughing nervously as he closed and locked the front door, then joined AJ at the bar.

AJ sighed as he turned to face Harm again, setting a strong hand against the younger man's forearm, "So, tell me – Why can't you marry her?" AJ asked softly, his eyes glittering from the moonlight streaming in through the kitchen window.

Harm sighed loudly as he grabbed the glass of scotch on the bar and swallowed down the entirety of its contents, "Because, I'd never make her happy – Not one hundred percent happy, anyway…" Harm said softly as he drew his fingertip around the rim of the glass slowly.

AJ sighed as he reached over to Harm's knee and gently squeezed it, "She wouldn't be happy… Or you wouldn't be happy?" AJ asked softly as he patted Harm's knee and then reached back to his drink and took a small sip of it.

"Honestly? Neither of us would be happy, I mean… Maybe we would be for the first year or two? But, then I'd end up screwing it up… I'd resent her, myself… None of it would be for the better, it'd just never work out." Harm said with a shake of his head as he twisted the cap off the scotch bottle and began caressing the neck of the bottle slowly.

"So, why'd you do it?" AJ asked curiously as he watched Harm's long fingers working the bottle, his own tongue coming out and sliding across his bottom lip slowly.

"Ask her to marry me? Because, I thought I'd get past it… Thought I could keep hiding. Then, when I saw you again… I lost it… Every shred of control on _that_ part of my life, completely gone in a matter of seconds." Harm stated with a ragged sigh as he looked up at AJ, a small smile on his face.

AJ chuckled as he leaned closer to Harm, "How long have you known, Harm, about me I mean?" AJ asked curiously as he took another sip of his scotch and watched Harm intently.

Harm laughed as he shrugged his shoulders "I've always had my suspicions… But, with policy as it is…" Harm trailed off with another shrug as he stood up and walked over to the large wall-to-wall windows and stared down at the dark alley, "So, what about you?" Harm asked as he glanced over his shoulder at AJ.

"I'm not going to lie. I honestly never imagined you for the type… But, then there have been times when I thought…" AJ said with a chuckle, shaking his head slowly "We're answering the questions, but not answering them at the same time…" AJ said as he swiveled in the bar stool slightly.

Harm nodded slowly as he twisted his glass of scotch in his fingertips, "It's hard to say when I knew exactly. But, I just always had this feeling – Deep down inside, you know?" Harm asked as he turned around and leaned against the window sill.

"I know what you mean… So, what are you going to do about Mac?" AJ asked as he stood up and walked over to Harm, now staring down into the alley.

Harm shrugged slightly, "Wouldn't be fair to keep stringing her along, now would it?" Harm asked as he reached up and stroked his index finger down AJ's cheek softly.

AJ shook his head as he looked over at Harm briefly "No, I suppose it wouldn't." he agreed easily as he turned back to the alley and sipped on his scotch slowly.

* * *

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, AJ turned to Harm again, his eyes traveling the length of Harm's six-foot-four frame, "So, how do you prefer it?" AJ asked as he turned to lean against the window sill.

"What…? What do you mean?" Harm asked nervously, swallowing convulsively as he looked down and then back up at AJ.

AJ smirked as he moved a bit closer to Harm "I think you know _exactly_ what I'm asking now." AJ said huskily.

Harm nodded his head slowly, his tongue darting out to wet his lips "Promise not to make fun of me?" Harm asked self-consciously as he set his glass down on the ledge of the window.

AJ shook his head slowly, "There's no reason to make fun of you." AJ said softly as he also set his glass down, then reached his hand out and brushed it against Harm's cheek softly.

Harm leaned into the touch and sighed contentedly "I'm a confirmed bottom." Harm said quietly as he bit down on his bottom lip slightly.

"Don't do that." AJ said, a slight moan escaping his lips as he leaned forward a bit more.

"Do what?" Harm asked breathlessly as he inched closer to AJ.

"Bite your lip… Such a turn on." AJ said, his voice husky as he slipped his hand behind Harm's head and threaded his fingers through the soft black hair.

"Is it?" Harm asked, his voice dropping an octave as he nibbled on his bottom lip, faux-innocent eyes looking up at AJ under dark eyelashes.

AJ nodded slowly "Damn hot." AJ said softly as he set his other hand against Harm's ass and pulled him closer, their lips colliding in a searing, passionate and bruising kiss.

Harm moaned into AJ's mouth as their hands freely roamed clothed skin "AJ…" Harm gasped as their lips disconnected, both breathless as their foreheads came together.

"I've waited a _long_ time to do that." AJ said huskily, his eyes dark and dilated as he caressed the back of Harm's head.

Harm nodded slowly, unable to form a coherent sentence, his bottom lip trembling as he nimbly began unbuttoning AJ's shirt.

* * *

A flash of headlights streamed into the dark living room as AJ's shirt slowly came open, Harm quickly pulled away from AJ and looked down at the car parking in the alleyway "Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit." Harm cursed as he watched Mac who was getting out of her car.

"Damn! What do you want to do?" AJ asked as he glanced around the loft, his hand trembling slightly.

Harm shook his head as he grabbed his glass of scotch "Nothing wrong with two friends having a glass of scotch, is there?" Harm asked with a smirk as he lifted his glass.

AJ shook his head as he collected his glass and clinked it against Harm's glance, both took a sip and stared at each other until the inevitable knock resounded in the loft.

Harm chuckled as he walked over to the door, unlocked it and pulled it open, leaning against the frame "Mac…" Harm said as he stood out of the way for her to come into the apartment.

"I'm so glad you thought you had to lie to me! Why not just tell me you and AJ were planning on having drinks?! Do you really think I would have cared?!" Mac shouted, staring pointedly at Harm, her nostrils flaring with her anger.

"I didn't lie to you Mac – He was _here_ when I came home!" Harm shouted back, his own nostrils flaring, his eyes dilating as his anger level rose, his eyes flicking to AJ who was staring out the window and swallowing the remainder of his glasses contents.

"Oh, right – And let me guess, you were just meeting someone _else_ outside the bar?!" Mac shouted, her eyes spitting flames at Harm.

"NO! I just… I needed some fucking air Mac! I didn't meet… I didn't meet anyone outside of the bar! I just needed air… I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think!" Harm said as he dropped down onto a bar stool, resting his elbows on the bar, he clenched his fists together and rested his head on his closed fists.

Mac sighed as she shook her head slowly "We can't do this, can we Harm?" Mac asked quietly, her voice sounding defeated as she dropped her head to her chest.

Harm sighed heavily as he shook his head, "We would have never made it, Mac. We fight too much… Eventually we'd have fought beyond return. I don't want a marriage that will inevitably turn miserable. Believe me when I tell you this, I love you Mac, but… Not at the expense of ruining our friendship. I couldn't do that to you… to us." Harm stated as he bit back his bottom lip, looking around the room, then turning and locking eyes with Mac.

Mac nodded her head slowly "I understand, and I… I guess I will accept it. Harriet won't be happy, but… She'll just have to deal with it. I'll see you at the airport in the morning… I do love you Harm." Mac said as she nodded in AJ's direction "Admiral… Take care of him." Mac said softly as she turned and pulled the metal door shut behind her.

* * *

Harm sighed as he slid off the bar stool, he walked over to the door and locked it, laying his forehead against the cool metal and fighting the urge to begin smashing his fist against the door.

"Harm, are you alright?" AJ asked from across the room, his feet 'cemented' to his place near the window.

"I'm fine." Harm states tersely as he walked away from the door and up the two steps that lead to the bedroom, practically ripping off his uniform and his undershirt. He tossed both articles of clothing into the corner of his room, neither item giving him enough release as he looked around the bedroom angrily, his back muscles tightening and rippling with his anger.

Harm dropped down onto the edge of the bed as he pulled off his dress shoes, viciously throwing them at the closet door, the wood splintering and cracking from the toss. AJ sighed as he walked over to the bedroom, standing at the bottom of the steps "Yeah, you're the poster-boy for fine, Harm." AJ said teasingly.

Harm groaned loudly as he dropped backwards on the bed, he turned his head towards AJ "Shut up." Harm said with a laugh as he tossed a pillow across the room at AJ, hitting him square in the chest.

AJ laughed as he grabbed the pillow and walked up the stairs to sit down beside Harm on the bed, "You look a little tense, how about a massage?" AJ asked with a smile on his face.

Harm nodded as he slowly turned over onto his stomach, AJ chuckled as he slapped Harm's ass lightly, then squeezed the plump flesh beneath Harm's dress uniform, "Mmm, I see why you're a confirmed bottom… Jesus Harm, how can you hide such a luscious ass?" AJ asked in a husky tone as he began running his fingers up Harm's back, his thumbs lightly grazing over a few scars left from warzone injuries.

Harm groaned as he inhaled sharply, "That hurt?" AJ asked as he stilled his hands and looked down at Harm, concern evident on the older man's face.

Harm shook his head slowly "No, not at all." Harm whispered huskily as he lifted his hips off the bed, undoing the button and zipper to his pants and shimmying out of them, letting the pants drop off his feet.

AJ groaned as he bit back his bottom lip, "Do you always wear such skimpy little pieces underneath your uniform?" AJ asked as he grabbed Harm's ass and squeezed lightly.

Harm nodded "Always have… Like the way… they feel." Harm said through gasps as he grinded his hips against the bed, his bottom lip quivering, a deep groan rolling in his throat as he continued writhing.

"Jesus Harm, are ya' horny or what?" AJ asked with a chuckle as he stripped off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants.

Harm whimpered and nodded his head "So horny, daddy." Harm whispered huskily, his entire body shuddering with anticipation.

AJ groaned as he stood up and pulled his pants and boxers off, his hard cock springing out and slapping against his stomach "You make a habit of calling men _daddy_?" AJ asked curiously as he kneeled between Harm's spread legs and returned to massaging the perfect globes of Harm's ass.

Harm gasped and shook his head "No sir… Just… oh god… I've always wanted… I… I need you…" Harm said brokenly as he slowly turned over onto his back.

AJ sighed as he looked Harm's muscular body over completely, "You've been working out, a lot more than usual, haven't you?" AJ asked as he trailed his fingers from Harm's bikini underwear, over the valley of his abdominal muscles and up to his neck.

Harm nodded "Mhm." He murmured as he continued writhing helplessly against the bed.

AJ leaned into Harm's ear "What have you always wanted?" he asked as he drew his tongue across the shell of Harm's ear slowly.

"I've… always… wanted to call you daddy… Ever since… I met you… Oh god!" Harm groaned out as his hips bucked upward into AJ's body.

AJ set a hand on Harm's stomach and gently lowered him back down onto the bed "Shhh, stop talking now baby, let daddy take care of you." AJ whispered into Harm's ear as cupped Harm's erection through the fabric of the bikini, squeezing slightly.

Harm whimpered loudly as he bucked upward into AJ's hand, "AJ…" Harm gasped out as his entire body trembled.

"Shhh, what'd I tell you?" AJ asked as he slapped Harm's thigh sharply. Harm's bottom lip quivered briefly, "Just relax." AJ whispered as he ran his fingers over Harm's taut muscles, Harm nodded as he continued whimpering and writing on the bed, his eyes closed tightly as he nibbled on his bottom lip.

AJ knelt up on the bed as he slipped his fingers around the elastic band of Harm's bikini underwear, sliding them down his long and slender legs, dropping them over the side of the bed "Lube?" AJ asked as he looked down at Harm. Harm nodded as he pointed to the nightstand, AJ smirked as he leaned over Harm's body, and their erections brushing against each other as AJ grabbed the lube "Condoms?" AJ asked as he held up the packets.

Harm shook his head "No… No condoms… Please… I need… I want it… raw… please..." Harm begged, his entire body shuddering intensely.

AJ nodded as he dropped the condom packets and moved to kneel between Harm's spread legs again, "Scoot back some." AJ said commandingly, Harm eagerly obeyed as he positioned himself in the center of the bed, pulling his legs up expectantly.

AJ chuckled as he crawled up to Harm "Such a good boy." AJ said as he popped the cap on the lubrication and squirted a generous amount on his fingertips. Probing and gentle fingers prodded at Harm's entry, Harm gasped and shuddered when AJ's fingers breached the tight ring of muscle "Damn honey, you are _tight_!" AJ groaned as he began scissoring his fingers and twisting them to open Harm up.

Harm whimpered and writhed, his body rocking backwards against AJ's fingers, "Please… Please AJ… Need you…. Please!" Harm begged as he gripped the silk sheets on the bed.

AJ nodded as he slowly withdrew his fingers, smirking when Harm whimpered loudly from the loss of contact, AJ then smeared a copious amount of lube on his leaking cock and then hovered over Harm, one hand pressed into the bed, the other wrapped around his cock as he slowly began pushing past the tight ring of muscles again.

Harm moaned loudly as AJ bottomed out, his legs wrapping around AJ's back to pull him in deeper, "That's it… That's it…" AJ cooed as he pulled out to the tip and slammed back in, sending Harm's body forward with each thrust. Harm screamed out in pleasure as AJ mercilessly pounded into his body, his fingers tightly wrapped around the sheets as he bucked upward, meeting each of AJ's thrusts as the two men neared completely "Oh fuck… Damn Harm!" AJ moaned as he bit down on his bottom lip.

After satisfying their needs, AJ collapsed into the bed beside Harm, both their bodies glistening in sweat "When does your plane leave?" AJ asked as he looked over at Harm who was already half asleep.

Harm turned over onto his side and snuggled into AJ's side "Zero eight hundred…" Harm replied sleepily as he slid his leg between AJ's legs, resting his head on AJ's chest.

AJ chuckled softly as he wrapped an arm around Harm's back, "Want me to leave?" AJ asked curiously as he drew his fingertips up and down Harm's spine.

Harm shook his head against AJ's chest "Nuh uh." Harm murmured around a loud yawn.

AJ smirked as he rubbed into Harm's back "Okay… Go to sleep, Harm. I'll make sure you get to the airport on time." AJ whispered as he kissed the top of Harm's head lightly, Harm nodded as he closed his eyes. AJ smiled as he reveled in the warmth of the younger man, listening as Harm's breathing evened out, his own eyes falling shut as he fell into a peaceful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning light streamed into the bedroom, Harm groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, the bed was a mess that much he knew. The lube was out on the nightstand and a small smile crept across his face as he recalled the events of last night. Hearing the shuffling around in his kitchen, Harm slowly rolled out of the bed and slipped on his discarded bikini underwear from last night then walked out into the kitchen, grinning brightly at the sight before him – AJ was standing over the coffee pot, wearing a pair of Harm's shorts that hugged low on his hips – Harm licked his lips slowly and was about to sneak up on AJ when the man turned around with a steaming cup of coffee extended outward to Harm.

"Morning sleepyhead, I was about to come wake you up." AJ said with a grin as he walked the younger man and kissed his lips softly then set the coffee cup in his hand.

"Morning." Harm grumbled tiredly as he ran a hand through his mussed hair, strands of black locks wildly spiked up and lying haphazardly around his head.

"Damn aren't you a sight." AJ said as he pulled Harm closer to him and kissed across his stubbled jawline slowly.

"Good or bad?" Harm mumbled as he leaned into AJ's body and sniffled tentatively at the high-strength coffee in his hands.

"Definitely good, definitely." AJ said as he reached up to Harm's head and tried smoothing down the wild hairs, "I never knew you were such a squealer… God, if I'd known that ten years ago Harm, you'd have been my boy since that day I transferred to JAG!" AJ said with a chuckle as he grabbed Harm's ass lightly, then slapped the fleshy cheek playfully.

"Mmm, was I really that loud?" Harm asked as he sipped the coffee in his hands slowly, nearly fully awake from the strength as it warmed him from head to toe.

AJ nodded slowly, a smirk crossing his face "Very, but I loved it…" AJ said huskily, then cleared his throat "So, can we talk?" AJ asked as he linked his fingers with Harm and gently pulled the younger man over to the couch.

Harm nodded as he settled down on the couch, tucking one leg underneath the other and facing AJ, "Go for it." Harm said softly as he continued sipping on his coffee.

"You and me – Where do you see us going, Harm?" AJ asked curiously as he ran his finger over the rim of his own coffee mug.

Harm sighed as he leaned over and kissed AJ on the lips softly, "Wherever you want to take me, I will follow you, AJ." Harm whispered against AJ's lips.

AJ laughed as he snaked his arm around Harm's neck and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply and passionately, "You're the one with the career, you'll be taking _me_ around the world." AJ said with a smirk as he drew his fingertips around Harm's neck softly.

Harm laughed loudly as he dropped his head against AJ's shoulder and snuggled up to him, resting his thighs over AJ's lap, "Right… I forget sometimes that you've retired. Well then, _Admiral_ , how would you like to come to London with me?" Harm asked as he leaned forward, setting his coffee mug down on the coffee table.

AJ followed suit and smirked as he lowered Harm down onto the couch, kissing him lovingly and deeply "Wherever you want to take me, I will follow you." AJ echoed Harm's earlier statement as he rested his forehead in the curve of Harm's nose, "But, right now, I have to take you to the airport, so come on." AJ stated as he slapped Harm's thigh lightly then stood up, pulling Harm up to his feet.

Harm sighed as he walked into the bedroom and began rummaging through the few clothes he had left in the closet "How long until you think you can join me?" Harm asked as he began dressing in a casual pair of jeans and brown sweater.

AJ chuckled as he walked into the bedroom "I could leave as soon as today, I have no pressing things going on in my life; but, then again, I do need to pack a few things – Plus, I figured, since _you_ have to leave, and your apartment will be unattended too, you'd want me to stick around here, make sure nothing happens to your stuff?" AJ said questioningly as he sat on the edge of the bed, scrubbing a hand over his head slowly "Maybe in a week, or two?" he added as he looked up at Harm.

Harm nodded as he walked over to AJ and straddled his thighs, his hands cupping the sides of AJ's neck "A week or two seems like a lifetime, but, I think I can handle it… _think!_ But, if I get lonely, you'd better pick up the phone." Harm whispered as his lips came down onto AJ's lips and initiated a deep and loving kiss.

AJ nodded as he held onto Harm's ass lightly "That's a given, I'll always pick up the phone for you – Whenever you want to talk to me, I'll answer, no matter what time it is." AJ said as he caressed Harm's back through his shirt.

Harm nodded as he laid his head against AJ's shoulder, "I love you, AJ." Harm whispered against AJ's neck, sniffling slightly.

"And I love you, Harm." AJ whispered back as he slowly stood up with Harm in his arms, "Now, let's get you to that airport so I can join you just a bit sooner." AJ said with a chuckle as he walked towards the door with Harm still clinging to his body, Harm nodded as he nipped at AJ's neck for a few seconds, then dropped down to his feet, he grabbed the duffle bag that was by the door, and the two men left for the airport.

* * *

Harm and AJ stood in the lobby of Dulles International, staring longingly at each other, their chests rising and falling at the same time, their hands tentatively reaching for each other, then dropping back to their sides "I'll see you around." AJ stated as he held his hand out to Harm.

Harm shook his head and looked around the airport briefly "I don't…" Harm sniffled and looked down at the floor, he stood a bit closer to AJ, their shoulders touching lightly "I don't want to leave." Harm whispered shyly.

AJ sighed as he shook his head "Harm, your orders are report to London immediately, you _have_ to go." AJ stated firmly as he turned and set both of his hands onto Harm's shoulder, forcing the younger man to look him in the eyes.

Harm drew in a shuddering breath as he clamped down on his emotions and squared his shoulders "I have to go. My orders are cut, and I need to be in London." Harm stated as he inhaled deeply and locked his eyes with AJ's, "I'll see you around, AJ." Harm finally conceded as he held his hand out to AJ and smiled.

AJ laughed as he shook the younger man's hand firmly, "Unspoken words." AJ said with a wink and a warm smile.

Harm laughed as he nodded "Unspoken words." Harm echoed as he released AJ's hand and adjusted his sea bag on his shoulder.

Mac sighed as she walked up to Harm and AJ "Harm, we're going to miss the flight." Mac stated distractedly as she looked down at the floor.

"How much time?" Harm asked curiously, biting back his bottom lip as he continued staring at AJ, who had to suppress a groan at the sight.

"Twenty-two minutes and thirteen seconds, but of course, we have to go through security and get checked in at customs." Mac stated as she adjusted her own sea bag.

Harm nodded as he inhaled deeply "Yeah, I know." Harm whispered as he looked down at his feet again.

AJ shook his head "Harm, what did I tell you?" AJ asked in a firm tone as he slapped Harm's chin lightly to get the younger man to look up again.

Harm sighed shakily "My orders are cut, and I need to be in London. Yes, I know." Harm said quietly as he squared his shoulders again, "Come on Mac, we've got a plane to catch." Harm stated as he took charge and moved forward.

* * *

Mac walked beside Harm silently for a few minutes, "Are you happy?" Mac asked as they went through one of the security checkpoints.

Harm nodded "Honestly? Yeah. Mac, I'm really sorry about having done this too you, you know that, right?" Harm asked curiously as they collected their bags again.

"I know Harm, and trust me, I won't tell anyone. I'll keep your secret for as long as I have too." Mac said with a smile as she looked up at Harm.

"One day things will change – Is that what you're telling me?" Harm asked with a raised eyebrow.

Mac nodded "I sure as hell hope so, because the looks between you and… It was intense, even more so than what we ever had." Mac said with a chuckle as they sat down in the waiting area.

"Twenty eight years is a long time to hide a secret, you know?" Harm asked as he relaxed in the seat, one leg crossed over the other.

Mac nodded solemnly as she looked over at Harm "So, are you… Gay or bisexual?" Mac whispered as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

Harm smirked as he looked over at Mac "Gay. All the girlfriends I ever had… Not once, I couldn't…" Harm sighed as he shook his head slowly.

Mac stifled as she looked over at Harm with a sympathetic look in her eyes "You could _never_?" Mac asked incredulously.

Harm shook his head again "The attraction may have been there, but when it came to… I could never seal the deal." Harm said quietly, rubbing his palms against his thighs to clear the sweat.

Mac couldn't hide the laughter this time "You've always seemed such the ladies' man… I honestly cannot fathom how you kept this to yourself. Why'd – never mind, that's a stupid question, I _know_ why you joined the NAVY." Mac said with a smile as she watched people walking past them.

After several minutes of silence, Harm turned in his chair to face Mac, "So, Christmas this year – How do you want to handle it?" Harm asked curiously.

Mac giggled as she patted Harm's cheek lightly "I'll be in London for Christmas – Believe me – I _do not_ want to miss Christmas in London!" Mac exclaimed happily as she looked up at Harm with a smile. "And, I will not miss seeing you and AJ together, either… He is coming, to London, right?" Mac asked in a whisper.

Harm nodded slowly as he let out a rather girlish giggle, "Yes, yes he is coming to London." Harm said with a contented sigh as he rested his head against the top of the chair.

"Did you just giggle?!" Mac asked excitedly as she stared disbelievingly at Harm.

Harm shook his head rapidly, attempting to deny the accusation "No! No I didn't!" Harm stated adamantly as he turned in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

Mac laughed loudly as she held onto Harm's upper arm, "Oh god, Harmon Rabb! You're such a girly-guy! How have I ever missed that?!" Mac questioned with further fits of giggles.

Harm sighed as he stood up slowly "I've… always been this way. I know it's weird, but somehow… I feel better, I feel freer… Knowing that you know… Know that… he knows… and he's there for me." Harm said as he sighed and sat back down, cradling his head in his hands "I'm still in DC and I miss the loving hell out of him, does that make me weak?" Harm asked as he looked up at Mac with a frown.

Mac shook her head and hugged Harm close to her chest "No, it makes you in love Harm… There is no weakness in being in love." Mac said as she kissed the side of Harm's head softly.

"Thanks Mac." Harm whispered as he hugged Mac back and snuggled into her side. A few minutes later his cellphone began ringing, Harm rolled his eyes as he flipped the device open "Hello… Oh, hey… Heh, uh well… We're still waiting, the plane is stuck in limbo… Mhm, oh god… Shut up! Damn it, no! Look… It's going to be a _long_ flight, and I don't _need_ that in my head!" Harm said with a sigh as he laid back in the seat, looking over at Mac with pleading eyes.

Mac shook her head as she snagged the phone from Harm's hand and set it to her own ear "AJ – You leave him alone! This hop is not going to be easy on Harm as it is. So, you be nice to him!" Mac stated as she pressed the phone back to Harm's ear.

"Love you AJ." Harm said with a smile as the words were reciprocated, Harm grabbed the phone and hung up with a contented sigh as he curled up, waiting to board the aircraft.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days later, Harm was lying in his bed at the new house he was renting – a beautiful two story townhouse that had two bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen and a large study, all the essentials he needed to live lie – his cellphone was resting on his chest as he stared up at the flat white ceiling above his platform bed, wishing he had Mac's sense of timing in any time zone. He jumped slightly when the cellphone on his chest began buzzing, he fumbled slightly to grab the device and flip it open, "Rabb speaking." Harm said quietly into the phone.

AJ grinned as he leaned against the doorframe of Harm's townhouse front door "Mmm, what're you doing?" AJ asked in a deepened tone.

Harm laughed giddily as he sat up in the bed "Oh god! It's so good to hear your voice!" Harm exclaimed into the phone as he held it just a bit tighter.

AJ chuckled softly "Oh yeah? How'd you like it if you could see me?" AJ asked coyly as he ran his finger over the doorbell, without pushing it in.

"What do you mean?!" Harm asked curiously as he pulled his legs up to his chest and hugged them tightly.

"I mean, perhaps you should think about listening to the doorbell, instead of whatever drab music you're listening too!" AJ exclaimed into the phone, pressing the doorbell a few times to prove his point.

Harm quickly jumped off the bed and flew down the stairs and swung the door open in a flurry, gasping as he stared at AJ on the other side. Harm's cellphone dropped from his ear as he grabbed AJ by the wrist and pulled him into the house, slamming him backwards into the door, their lips fusing together in a heated and hungry kiss. Harm moaned loudly into AJ's mouth as his hips ground against AJ.

AJ slowly peeled Harm off his body and exhaled shakily as he looked lovingly at the younger man, both breathing erratically as they tried to catch their breath "Damn Sailor, if it were any indication, I'd think you missed me!" AJ said teasingly as he gently stroked the back of his fingers over Harm's cheek softly.

Harm nodded as he turned his head and kissed each of AJ's knuckles softly "More than you will ever know." Harm said softly as he wrapped his fingers around AJ's neck and pulled him close again, kissing him deeply.

AJ smirked as he grabbed onto Harm's hips and turned the younger man towards the wall, pressing him against it roughly as his hands began freely roaming Harm's muscular body.

Harm gasped as AJ clamped down on Harm's neck with gentle kisses and bites, "AJ…" Harm moaned out. AJ grinned as he pulled back slowly and looked down into Harm's eyes with a loving glare, his knuckles brushing the gathered tears in the corner of Harm's eyes.

"How's my baby doing?" AJ asked as he gently led Harm over to the couch, dropping down onto it and pulling Harm down into his lap.

Harm laughed as he wrapped his arms around AJ's neck lightly "I'm better now." Harm whispered against AJ's lips, peppering kisses along his lips and jawline.

AJ chuckled as he lowered Harm onto the couch and hovered over him, "God I missed that beautiful face of yours." AJ whispered as he drew his fingertips along Harm's features.

* * *

As the two men held onto each other and laid on the couch, a low rumble emanated between their bodies. AJ laughed as he rested his forehead against Harm's shoulder "Was that you or me?" AJ asked as he kissed Harm's neck softly.

Harm wiggled slightly "Me… I think… I skipped lunch today… Too much going on at the FJA for me to even order anything in… It's absolutely crazy." Harm said with a sigh as he snuggled a bit deeper into the couch, his fingertips lightly drawing up and down AJ's arm.

"Well, what're you hungry for?" AJ asked softly as he laid feather-light kisses along Harm's neck and jawline.

Harm sighed as he slid down the couch slightly and held onto AJ's neck, pulling him down into a languorous kiss, "Pancakes sound good. Think you can manage?" Harm asked softly.

AJ nodded his head slowly "Any specific type of pancake you have in mind?" AJ asked as he slowly sat up, pulling Harm with him.

"Mmm, blueberry and strawberry sound good." Harm said as he pushed AJ back down onto the couch and straddled his thighs.

AJ laughed as he settled his hands on Harm's rear and squeezed lightly "You're never going to get those pancakes if you keep me here on the couch." AJ said as he slapped both of Harm's ass cheeks.

Harm groaned as he rocked forward into AJ's body slightly "I know…" Harm whispered sadly as he reluctantly got off AJ's lap and walked into the kitchen.

AJ followed Harm into the kitchen, a breathy sigh escaping his lips "Wow Harm… This is a _definite_ upgrade from the lot." AJ commented as he walked around the kitchen, fingers grazing the cool steel countertops.

Harm nodded "Mhm, I know… I figured, two men who like cooking would need a decent sized and properly equipped kitchen." Harm said with a smirk as he hoisted himself up onto the counter and crossed his ankles.

"Alright so, where is everything?" AJ asked with a chuckle as he looked over at Harm with a smirk.

"OH!" Harm gasped as he slipped off the counter and walked around the kitchen, collecting everything needed to prepare the pancakes, then returning to his spot on the counter.

AJ chuckled as he stood between Harm's knees and pulled the younger man's head down and kissed him languidly. Harm whimpered as AJ pulled away and moved back over to the pancake fixings, beginning to slice up the strawberries and blueberries. Harm reached over and grabbed one of the strawberries, holding it between his fingers as he bit down on it seductively, keeping his eyes on AJ the entire time. AJ groaned as he bit back his bottom lip "Damn babe…" AJ said huskily as he reached over and swiped his thumb over a dribble of strawberry juice from Harm's chin and sucked it off his thumb.

Harm giggled as he licked his lips slowly "So damn hot… When did you get so hot?" AJ asked as he continued slicing the fruit.

Harm laughed as he pulled his feet up on top of the counter and spread his legs slightly "Mmm, I don't remember." Harm said with another giggle as he wiggled his bare toes.

AJ laughed as he prepared the pancake batter, tossed in the sliced fruits then folded them into the batter, "AJ…" Harm whispered as he bit back his bottom lip slightly.

AJ looked over at Harm with a raised eyebrow "Hmmm?" AJ mumbled as he began spooning the batter onto the griddle pan.

"I missed you." Harm whispered as he slid his hand around AJ's neck and brought the older man closer, their lips connecting in a heated and passionate kiss, Harm's fingers lightly rubbing over AJ's bald head.

AJ smiled as he turned back to the pancakes "I missed you too Harm. I missed you too." AJ whispered as he flipped the bubbly batter over onto the other side.

"Don't burn the pancakes!" Harm said with a giggle as he slid off the counter and walked over to a cabinet and retrieved two plates and some silverware, setting them on the island. "What do you want to drink?" Harm asked as he went over to the fridge, bending over to rummage through the options.

AJ stared at Harm's bent ass and stifled a groan "I uhm… God, I can't think! Not with a view like that!" AJ said, pointing the spatula at Harm. Harm laughed as he shook his head, AJ rolled his eyes and turned back to the pancakes "Orange juice sounds good." AJ finally said as he continued flipping and flopping pancakes onto the griddle then onto the serving platter.

Harm nodded as he turned back to the fridge, "Hmmm, okay." Harm said as he grabbed the box of juice and set it down on the counter.

AJ looked Harm over briefly and shook his head "Why don't you go and get comfortable? I'm sure that uniform isn't very comfortable after being in it all day." AJ said as he watched Harm effortlessly walk around the kitchen to finish setting the table.

Harm shook his head "No, I'm fine… I'm comfortable right now." Harm stated as he licked his lower lip as he leaned against the counter.

AJ shook his head "That wasn't a suggestion, Captain. That _was_ an order." AJ said in a firm tone as he stared up at Harm.

Sighing in frustration, Harm pushed off the counter and stripped out of his uniform, and carefully laid them over the back of the chair, "That better?" Harm asked, standing in his bikini underwear.

AJ laughed as he nodded his head slowly, his eyes traveling the length of Harm's body "Yeah, that's better." AJ said huskily as he licked his suddenly dry lips.

Harm nodded as he moved to stand behind AJ, gently kissing the back of the older man's neck softly "I even feel better… How'd you know I needed less clothes on?" Harm asked as he nuzzled into AJ's back.

AJ laughed as he turned and kissed AJ on the forehead softly "Because I know my baby too well." AJ said quietly as he grabbed the platter with the pancakes on them, then wrapped his arm around Harm's waist as he drug the younger man to the kitchen table.

* * *

Harm happily sat down and dissected the pancakes into small squares, then poured pancake syrup everywhere on the plate and covering the fluffy pancakes. Harm lifted a forkful of pancakes to his mouth and nibbled on them, groaning in pleasure as a dribble of syrup ran down his chin and towards his chest, tangling in the fine threads of his chest hair.

"Oh Harmon, you're such a dirty boy." AJ admonished lovingly as he walked over to Harm and lapped up the syrup with his tongue.

Harm inhaled sharply as he arched into AJ's swirling tongue "Oh god…" Harm gasped out as he wrapped his hand around AJ's head lightly.

AJ chuckled as he slowly pulled away and sat down beside Harm, grabbing the fork from the plate and feeding Harm nibbles of pancake and catching whatever dripped from Harm's chin with his tongue.

Once the pancakes were finished and the plates pushed aside, Harm was hoisted up onto the table, lying flat on his back as AJ whirled his tongue around Harm's puckered hole, Harm gasped and writhed on the table, "Oh god!" Harm shouted as his hips bucked off the table, his breathes ragged and labored as AJ prodded his tongue into Harm's opening slowly, "AJ… AJ please… I… Oh god… Please, I want… want you to… fuck me… fuck me please!" Harm begged, his entire body wriggling on top of the table.

AJ chuckled as he slowly stood up, unbuttoning his pants and withdrawing a packet of lube from his pocket, he let his pants and boxers fall to the floor, then liberally coated his throbbing cock with the lube, then carefully slipping two of his fingers into Harm's hole, opening him up effortlessly, Harm moaned as he rocked against AJ's probing hand, gasping and gripping at the table.

AJ gripped the base of his cock firmly as he positioned himself to Harm's waiting hole, then groaned as he slid in to the hilt, wrapping his hands around Harm's thighs as he began thrusting fluidly into the warm heat, the pace was frantic and rough, AJ consistently striking Harm's prostate, causing the younger man to scream out with each connect, his body arching and rocking against AJ's cock "Oh FUCK!" Harm screamed as he wrapped his fist around his cock and began stroking, matching stroke for thrust.

AJ groaned loudly as he gripped onto Harm's hips and pulled the younger man back onto his cock "That's it baby, that's it!" AJ moaned as he continued slamming rapidly into Harm's body.

"Uhhh fuck! AJ!" Harm screamed as his fingertips gripped onto the edge of the table, his hips bucking upward into his own fist as hot streams of come spilled out over his stomach and chest.

AJ growled as he rotated his hips against the backs of Harm's thighs "So fucking close baby, so close…" AJ grunted out as he deepened his thrusts, putting his entire strength into each movement.

"Oh god… Oh god… Oh god…" Harm gasped out as he continued squirming left and right on top of the table, his eyes closed tightly as he gripped the edge of the table with both hands, small squeaks escaping Harm's mouth as AJ continued pummeling his body.

AJ moaned loudly as he thrusted a final time into Harm's body, coating the inviting heat with his release, "Oh god…" AJ moaned as he slowly pulled out and collapsed to the floor, panting heavily.

Harm slowly slid off the table and joined AJ on the floor, lying on his stomach on the cool hardwood floor, "Wow." Harm whispered as he snuggled into AJ's side.

AJ laughed as he ran a soothing hand up and down Harm's back softly "Should probably get off the floor." AJ said quietly, Harm nodded as he turned to look up at AJ "Plus, you need a shower, you're all sticky again." AJ said with a wink as he slowly stood up, then helped Harm up off the floor, the two men walking upstairs and to the bathroom together.


	4. Chapter 4

Two months later; AJ and Harm were officially moved in together, and were loving life together as it was. Harm's job was getting easier now that all the preliminary paperwork had been handled, and everyone was used to having Harm as their commanding officer.

It was past midnight now, and the pounding on the door woke AJ from a deep sleep, he trudged tiredly down the stairs in his boxers and pulled the front door open, an angry scowl on his face at whoever decided to disturb his peaceful rest.

"Admiral!" Jennifer gasped as she flew into AJ's body and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her head in his chest as she sobbed loudly.

"Coates, what the hell is the meaning of this?!" AJ bellowed as he peeled the young petty officer away from his chest and stared down at the distraught look on Jennifer's face, "Jen, what's wrong?" AJ asked as he held onto Jennifer's shoulders, he could feel the tremors wracking her entire body.

Jennifer looked up at AJ with tears in her eyes "It's… It's Harm, sir…" Jennifer said shakily as the tears slid down her cheeks in rapid waves.

AJ inhaled deeply "What?! What the hell happened?!" AJ shouted as he pulled Jennifer into the townhouse and shut the door behind them.

Jennifer inhaled shakily as she shook her head "He… He was on his… way home… his car… it… he's… he got into a wreck… He's…" Jennifer stammered out, shaking her head as she began sobbing loudly again.

"Don't… Don't tell me… He can't be dead!" AJ shouted in disbelief as he hugged onto Jennifer, his own tears threatening to fall.

"No sir… NO! He's… He's not! He's not dead… But… He's… He's in… critical condition!" Jennifer wailed against AJ's chest, her tears riding down her cheeks and down onto AJ's bare chest.

"Okay… Okay… That's better…" AJ said calmly as he slowly released Jennifer, "Give me a few minutes… I need to get dressed, and you need to compose yourself Petty Officer!" AJ ordered as he quickly stood up and headed upstairs to the bedroom.

* * *

When AJ came back down in a pair of jeans and T-Shirt, Jennifer was waiting by the door, more composed than she had been earlier, he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder and headed out of the house "Which hospital?" AJ asked as he got into his SUV and Jennifer followed a few seconds later.

Jennifer inhaled deeply as she pulled the seat belt across her chest "He's at Royal London, Sir." Jennifer replied calmly, even though she didn't feel at all calm.

AJ nodded as he pulled up Royal London on the GPS system and began driving through the streets at breakneck speeds to get to the hospital "How bad is it?" AJ asked as he concentrated on the road ahead, weaving in and out of the minimal traffic on the road.

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders helplessly "Unknown sir, they wouldn't talk to me and tell me anything, they only knew to contact me… I'm his direct contact, at least since we came to London. But… You're his… Power of Attorney… So, they have to talk to you, don't they?" Jennifer asked as she looked up at AJ with new tears forming in her eyes.

AJ nodded his head slowly "Being in control of Harm's medical decisions and everything else, yeah, they have to talk to me." AJ confirmed as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, finding a spot relatively close to the doors; he and Jennifer quickly ran through the lot and into the emergency department.

* * *

Harm laid lifelessly on the hospital bed, attached to a ventilation machine, heart rate monitor and an EEG Machine, AJ stood in the doorway, his hands shaking as he carefully walked into the room and stood by Harm's bedside.

AJ clasped Harm's unnaturally cold hand and brought it up to his lips, gently kissing the battered knuckles of his lover "I'm here Harm, I'm right here…" AJ whispered as he leaned forward and kissed Harm lovingly on the forehead, which was bruised and cut up.

Harm's doctor came into the room and cleared his throat, AJ stood up straight, his fingers still wrapped around Harm's fingers as he looked at the doctor "What can you tell me?" AJ demanded as he stared pointedly at the doctor.

The Doctor shook his head "Well, Mr. Chegwidden, he is in a coma and… The outlook is pretty slim for survival. He's suffering from a severe concussion, all but three of his ribs are cracked, both of his legs were broken in the wreck, and we had to remove his spleen… It was completely shredded." The doctor reported as he stared at the older man before him.

AJ inhaled shakily "What… what are the actual… chances?" AJ asked, gulping down the lump forming in his throat.

The doctor sighed as he picked up Harm's chart at the foot of the bed "If I'm being realistic, I give him a twenty percent chance of survival right now. The doctor said quietly, his head lowering slightly in sympathy for the man before him.

AJ gripped Harm's hand a little tighter as a tear rode down his cheek, "Thank you, doctor." AJ said dismissively, the doctor nodded as he walked back out of the room "Jen, you can come back in now." AJ stated as he grabbed a chair and sat down beside Harm's bedside.

Jennifer came into the room and stood at the foot of Harm's bed, her tears still streaking down her cheeks "I need you to call Mac, and tell her what's going on so she can tell Trish and Frank… Then if you could call General Cresswell, Harriet, Bud… Anyone who _needs_ to know, I need them told." AJ said firmly.

Jennifer nodded her head as she withdrew her cellphone and left the hospital room once again to place the calls.

AJ breathed out raggedly as he laid his head against Harm's hand, "Harm… You have to stay with me…" AJ whispered as he kissed the back of Harm's hand "You have to baby, I need you… You hear me? I _need_ you!" AJ said as he gently tugged on Harm's hand "Please, Harm… I'm begging you… Don't leave me, not like this… You can't go out like this…" AJ continued, his voice low as he placed several kisses against Harm's hand.

* * *

Fifteen hours later, AJ was still at Harm's bedside, now lying down on the bed next to Harm's prone form, one arm wrapped lightly around his lover's chest, holding onto him protectively.

"We shouldn't bother him…" Mac whispered as she stared with bleary eyes at her best friend lying helplessly and vulnerable on the hospital bed.

"AJ needs to know that we're all here." Trish said softly as she took a few tentative steps into the room, her bottom lip quivering as she took the remaining steps to stand beside her son, a shaking hand reaching out to grab Harm's freehand. Trish leaned forward and kissed her son on the forehead, then turned to AJ as she set her other hand on AJ's shoulder "AJ darling, we're here." Trish said softly as she gently shook AJ's shoulder.

AJ groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, then sat up a bit, and looked around the room "Oh, you… you guys are here already… Wow… What time is it?" AJ asked tiredly as he scrubbed a shaking hand down his face.

Mac sat down beside AJ and frowned "Eastern, Western or London time, sir?" Mac asked quietly as she looked up at AJ with a sad smile on her face.

"London will do just fine, Colonel." AJ stated as he carefully stood up from the bed, stretching out his back and arms, a low groan escaping his lips as he released the stiffness from his back.

Mac nodded slightly as she stood up "Its 0733 Sir." Mac said as she wrapped her arms around AJ's body and hugged him closely.

AJ frowned as he wrapped his arms around Mac's shoulders and held her close "I failed Mac… I failed you… I failed him… I'm… I'm so sorry." AJ whispered as he laid his cheek on top of Mac's head.

Mac shook her head adamantly as she tilted her head to look up at AJ "Oh AJ, no… No you didn't… You couldn't have protected him from this! There was just no way!" Mac said as she grabbed AJ by the jaw, forcing him to look at her "This is _not_ your fault AJ." Mac stated firmly as she released his jaw and pushed him to sit back down on the edge of the bed beside Harm.

AJ shook his head and rubbed his hands over his head, sighing raggedly as he looked over at Harm, tears forming in his eyes "What happened, AJ?" Mac asked softly as she sat down in front of AJ.

Trish, Frank, Jennifer, Harriet, Bud, Thomas Boone, and General Cresswell all filed into the room and took up seats in various locations in the room – Tom sat at the head of the bed beside Harm, tsking at the condition of the young man – everyone waited on bated breath for AJ to tell them what happened to Harm.

AJ inhaled shakily as he grasped Harm's hand, gently stroking his thumb over the back of it "The authorities said that it was a drunk driver that hit him… Harm had been at the Embassy all day… They were having a meeting of sorts, I don't know much about the meeting… Anyway, it was late when he was on his way home, and… some drunk idiot… slammed into the side of Harm's car. Sent it rolling down the street at rapid paces… The police said by the time they got onto the scene, Harm had been tossed from the car… Nearly fifty feet from the crash site… But… I don't get it, Harm always – I mean _always_ – wears a seat belt… So… How all this happened, I just… I can't explain it!" AJ said with a heavy sigh as he looked over at his lover, gently stroking the back of his index finger down Harm's cheek, "I can't lose him… I just… I can't." AJ whispered as the tears streamed down his cheeks, turning back to Mac.

Mac nodded as she stood up and wrapped her arms around AJ, hugging him close and kissing the top of his head "I know… I know… and you won't lose him AJ… You know the man has nine lives… He's escaped death several times… He'll pull through." Mac said reassuringly as she brushed her hand down AJ's back soothingly. AJ nodded as he turned back to Harm's prone form, staring at him with free-flowing tears sliding down his cheeks.

* * *

Three weeks had gone by since Harm was in the accident. Everyone had kept a bedside vigil, Harm was never alone while he laid in the hospital. His condition was bumped from severely critical down to critical after two weeks of being in the coma. AJ constantly stayed within arms-length of Harm, and everyone they've known through the years had spent time at Harm's bedside, reliving memories of old, laughing or crying over said memories, begging Harm to stay alive, if not for himself, then for the people who loved him.

Harm's eyes started moving rapidly behind his eyelids, a low groan rolling in his throat, everyone's head shot up from their sleeping position and AJ sat up and turned towards Harm, taking up his hand "Harm… Harm can you hear me?" AJ asked softly as he reached his other hand up to gently stroke Harm's forehead, his eyes were still closed, but the slight nod of his head made everyone in the room let out the breath that they had been holding, "Someone turn off the lights." AJ requested softly as he stroked down Harm's cheek softly.

The lights in the room dimmed, all except the one over the sink, "Open your eyes Harm, please…" AJ asked softly, continuing to stroke. Harm's eyes slowly opened up, he stared up at AJ with tears welling up in his eyes, "Shhh, shhh, its okay. It's okay Harm, don't try and talk… and don't cry either… You'll only choke yourself." AJ said softly, chuckling slightly.

Harm nodded his head slowly as he reached up and gripped AJ's wrist, squeezing tightly "Okay, okay… Calm down – Someone go get the doctor!" AJ demanded as he carefully pried Harm's fingers off his wrist and linked their fingers together, "We'll get someone to remove the tube, I promise… Just relax, Harm… Just relax." AJ said softly, squeezing Harm's hand reassuringly.

Harm nodded again as he laid his head back, the tears sliding down the sides of his face as he looked up at the ceiling.

The doctor walked into the room with a smile on his face "Well now, this day is turning into quite a good day! Let's see if we can't get you talking, Mr. Rabb." The doctor said as he moved to stand at Harm's bedside and turned off the ventilation machine, carefully monitoring Harm to make sure his lungs would continue breathing on their own. The doctor nodded as he patted Harm's shoulder "Very good, Mr. Rabb – I'm going to pull the tube out now. You're going to feel a slight pull, but I need you to cough as I pull it out, okay?" The doctor asked in a gentle tone.

Harm nodded as he gripped AJ's hand a bit tighter as the doctor began removing the tube from Harm's throat. Once the tube was out, Harm turned his head into his shoulder and began coughing viciously, AJ grabbed a cup of water and brought it over to Harm's lips "Harm, drink this babe… Come on." AJ prompted as he helped lift Harm's head up and take a few slow sips of the water.

The doctor nodded approvingly as he examined his patient and looked up at AJ "Looks good. Just give him a few minutes to adjust to being awake again… We'll keep an eye on him for the next few hours, and if nothing gets worse, we'll talk about when and if he can go home. But, you all should know, especially you Mr. Rabb – The injuries sustained in the wreck-…" The doctor began but Harm cut him off with a shuddering gasp as he shook his head.

Everyone turned their head to look at Harm "Wasn't… a wreck…" Harm coughed out, his eyes watering up again.

"Harm, what are you talking about? Your car was hit by a drunk driver and flipped you over numerous times!" AJ said, confusion in his voice as he sat down in front of Harm, gently grasping his hand.

Harm nodded slightly as he inhaled slowly and evenly "That… part… is true…" Harm gasped out.

AJ sighed as he slowly sat Harm up and gently rubbed circles across his back "Breathe, take it easy." AJ whispered against Harm's head.

Harm nodded as he gripped the edge of the mattress tightly "The wreck… was a… set-up…" Harm coughed into AJ's chest, letting out a strangled sob as he clutched AJ's arm and the mattress a bit tighter.

AJ sighed as he wrapped his arms around Harm's upper body and gently carded his fingers through Harm's hair soothingly "Harm, stop talking – You'd be better off talking to the police about this. There is no reason to repeat your story more than once. Whatever it is, it can wait." AJ stated as he gently laid Harm back down on the bed and gently stroked the back of his index finger down his lover's cheek.

Harm nodded slowly as he took in a shaky breath as tears slid down the sides of his face again, "I… Tell me… what is… wrong with me…" Harm asked as he looked up at AJ with tear-filled eyes.

AJ sighed as he brushed back Harm's hair lovingly, "Maybe you should get some rest right now, you've just woken up and you're already stressing yourself out." AJ said calmingly as he stared into the pale blue eyes of his lover.

Harm nodded slightly as he looked down at his battered body, then his eyes flicked up to all the faces in the room "So many… people." Harm whispered, his voice sounding tired and his eyes growing heavy.

"And they will _all_ be here when you wake up, now go to sleep." AJ stated in a firm tone as he stared pointedly at Harm.

Nodding his head, Harm closed his eyes and sighed softly "Yes sir…" Harm said groggily as he began drifting off back to sleep.

AJ shook his head, chuckling softly as he settled back down in the reclining chair beside Harm's bed "Had I known getting into a relationship with him would cause him to actually _listen_ to my orders… I'd have done that ten years ago." AJ said as he gently held onto Harm's hand.

Mac smirked as she nodded her head "Would have made all our lives easier, sir." Mac agreed as she snuggled down beside AJ on the reclining chair and watched the even rise and fall of Harm's chest. AJ nodded as he wrapped an arm around Mac's shoulder and relaxed in the seat "He's going to be okay now, he has no choice but to get better. Not with all of us in his corner." Mac said as she hugged around AJ's stomach lightly, AJ nodded as he rubbed Mac's arm comfortingly.

* * *

A couple hours later, Harm was lying in the bed and staring at AJ who was stretched out on the reclining chair, which he'd taken up permanent residence for the past three weeks and Mac who was curled up against his side and been there throughout the entire time as well. Harm sighed as his eyes roamed the room slowly, taking note of everyone else who was in the room, Trish and Frank were in another corner on a second recliner and curled into each other's arms, both sleeping also. Then there were Harriet and Bud who were curled up on the couch together, snuggling and sleeping.

General Cresswell was also in the room, he was sitting in a straight backed chair with his arms crossed over his chest and also in a deep sleep. On the other side of his bed was Tom Boone, his dad's best friend, also in a deep sleep. Harm sighed as he stared up at the ceiling, he had nobody to speak to and it frustrated him to no end, his breathing started hitching and becoming erratic, senseless tears sprung up and he began silently sobbing into the bed, fighting his internal emotions. He started thrashing in the bed as the images of his attack began flickering in his mind, his entire body trembling as he tried fighting harder to erase the images, his silent sobs turning to full-fledged screams, both from the physical pain and the emotional pain.

"Harm… Harm… Calm down! Calm down!" a voice from just behind him commanded, a set of strong hands grasping his shoulders to pin him down to the mattress.

"Let me go! Let me go!" Harm shouted as he fought against the iron grip on his shoulders, tears streaming down his face as he continued trashing his body.

AJ shot up and grabbed Harm's arms, "Harm! It's okay… It's okay!" AJ shouted as he pinned Harm's wrists to the bed.

Another pair of strong hands pinned his casted legs down to the bed, and Harm's entire body stilled, "Harm… Harm look at me." AJ commanded as he stared down at Harm's terror stricken face.

Harm lifted his head up and took several shuddering breathes, the tears slowly subsiding, his eyes locking onto AJ's face "Oh god… AJ… What? Who…?" Harm asked, jerking his head to look at the person who was holding his shoulders "Tom…" Harm whispered hoarsely.

The three men released Harm's body and let out a sigh of release as AJ sat down beside Harm, gently taking his hand, "What happened Harm?" AJ asked softly as he kissed Harm's fingers lightly.

Harm shook his head as he took a deep breath "The wreck was a set-up… The driver, wasn't drunk… He was driving a huge truck… Sent my car into a barrel roll… By the time the car stopped rolling, landing on the hood… I was still in the car secured by the seatbelt." Harm stated, tears welling up in his eyes again "I need to talk to the cops AJ… This, this attack… It was personal AJ, it… it wasn't a random act!" Harm stated as he gradually calmed himself back down.

AJ nodded as he slowly stood up and leaned over Harm's body "I'll call, don't worry." AJ whispered as he kissed Harm's forehead softly and then turned to walk out of the room.

Everyone was now awake after Harm's episode and were all looking at him with sympathy and tears in their eyes, "I'm okay now…" Harm assured them with a half-hearted smile on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

When the detective's came to speak with Harm, they were greeted by the full force of Harm's support system, and AJ who was protectively sitting beside Harm, one arm wrapped over Harm's shoulder and their heads pressed together softly.

Harm inhaled deeply as he locked eyes with the older investigator that had been taken Harm's case "Mr. Rabb, it's so good to see that you've pulled through! I'm sure you do not remember me, but I'm Constable Earl Miller, and this is my partner, Constable Russell Griffin." Earl said in a thickened English accent as he held out his hand to Harm.

Harm shook Earl's hand lightly, then laid his head back down against AJ's shoulder, "Vaguely, I remember your face… Couldn't recall your name though. Thank you for coming down." Harm said as he carefully turned in the bed, propping himself up against AJ's chest.

Taking a deep breath, Harm settled against AJ and began recounting the 'accident' "After my car stopped rolling down the street – The car was surrounded – I didn't see any faces, I didn't catch anything, I was barely conscious as it was… I remember being dragged out of the car. I remember hearing the window being kicked in – That's why it looked like I had been tossed from the car. They clearly hadn't thought this through, I _had_ my seat belt on! Anyway… They dragged me down the street – Where you found me – and they… they beat me… I-I couldn't fight back, I was… like I said… barely conscious! I know… this isn't _much_ help… But the truth of it is… I'm… I'm fairly certain that this was a set-up… It wasn't an accident!" Harm stated as he curled his fingers around AJ's hand tightly, taking a few deep breathes and wincing in pain from the pull in his chest.

Earl nodded his head slowly "And you're thinking that it was a hate crime?" Earl asked with a certainty to his voice.

Harm nodded his head slowly "Yes, that's exactly what I think it is – the snippets of what I could see, when the blood wasn't clouding my vision – They looked like they were military. There were three white males, and one African American man… None of them spoke to me, but I could hardly hear what they were saying to each other… But… that's all I know… I know, deep down, that this was intentional." Harm stated adamantly as he stared at Earl with an unwavering expression.

Earl nodded his head as he took a few heavy breathes "There are several security cameras and traffic cameras in that area – If we can see the faces of who did this, we'll certainly figure it out Mr. Rabb. Thank you for all the help you've provided. We'll leave you to your family and friends now." Earl said as he shook hands with Harm and AJ, the two detectives then left the room quietly.

* * *

A week later Harm had finally been released from the hospital, but was still bed ridden, for the obvious reason of having two broken legs, but if it were up to Harm, he'd do anything to get up and do what he wanted.

AJ was like a hawk when it came to Harm and every time Harm tried getting up AJ would stop him and scold him about setting back his recovery.

"AJ, please! You're hovering! I just… I need to move!" Harm shouted angrily as he slammed his fists into the bed, a heavy scowl on his face as he stared at AJ.

"Harm, I'm not listening to it! You have two broken legs, how the hell do you expect to walk around?!" AJ shouted back as he stared pointedly at the younger, supremely stubborn, man in front of him.

"I don't know…" Harm said around a heavy sigh as he laid back down, letting out a gasp at the sudden rush of pain in his chest and stomach.

"And not to mention… You have twenty-one bruised, cracked or broken ribs… You're not in any shape to be trying to move right now babe." AJ said as he began undressing, leaving only his boxers on as he climbed into the bed and laid beside Harm, gently rubbing a hand up and down Harm's bandaged chest.

"AJ, please… I can't stay in bed all day! It's just too much… and, I'm uncomfortable… My back is literally _screaming_ at me right now! Even the pain meds aren't helping me anymore!" Harm complained as he carefully scooted down the bed and laid his head against AJ's shoulder.

AJ sighed as he slid his arm underneath Harm's neck and pulled him just a bit closer "I know baby, believe me, I know you're hurting… I'll see what I can do, but… It's going to hurt like hell, you know that, right?" AJ asked as he kissed Harm's forehead lightly.

Harm nodded slowly as he pressed his hand against AJ's stomach "I know AJ… But I can't keep lying here." Harm said softly as he began pushing himself up, pleasantly surprised when AJ didn't protest or stop him, but helped him into a seated position.

"Careful…" AJ whispered as he crawled off the bed and stood in front of Harm, he locked his arms underneath Harm's armpits and carefully began pulling him up into a standing position. Harm gasped as his fingers clutched down onto AJ's shoulders, tears quickly springing to his eyes and sliding down his cheeks, "Breathe, that's all you've gotta do… Just breathe." AJ said soothingly as he continued holding onto Harm.

Harm nodded as he took deep calming breathes, slowly releasing his death-grip on AJ's shoulder, he smiled softly as he looked up at AJ "My back thanks you for this." Harm said, chuckling slightly as he shuffled one foot forward, while AJ shuffled the same foot backwards.

The two men kept a steady gait as they _slowly_ began walking around the bedroom, their arms never leaving the other's as they stared at each other, smiles on each other's faces.

AJ laughed softly as he looked down at their feet briefly "We're almost dancing, Captain." AJ whispered as he brought one hand up to the back of Harm's neck, gently caressing the skin beneath his fingertips.

Both men stopped moving as they stared into each other's eyes "I'm not going to get better, am I?" Harm asked quietly as he held onto AJ's arms for the much needed support.

AJ sighed as he kissed Harm's forehead "You're already getting better, Harm. So yes, you are." AJ said reassuringly as he stroked his fingers over the small threads of hair at the back of Harm's neck lightly.

"Kiss me." Harm whispered as he rocked on his casted legs slightly.

AJ sighed as he stepped forward and pulled Harm's body flush against his to keep them both steady, their lips colliding in a frustratingly passionate kiss.

Harm moaned into AJ's mouth, his fingertips caressing AJ's bare shoulders, "AJ… oh god…" Harm cried out as his grip tightened and he fell into AJ's chest with a shuddering sob that shook his entire body.

"It's okay, I'm right here." AJ whispered as he wrapped his arms around Harm's body and rocked him lightly from side to side.

Mac sighed as she stood outside of the closed bedroom door, listening to the shuffling, the sobbing, and the silence. Her heart was breaking for the pain that the two men were going through. Silently pushing the door open, she looked at the two men inside and shook her head "AJ… You know he shouldn't be standing." Mac said as she walked into the bedroom.

"I know… Let's get you back into bed, Harm." AJ said softly, neither man attempting to move from their embrace though.

"Not ready yet." Harm whimpered against AJ's shoulder.

AJ shook his head as he wrapped his arms just a bit tighter around Harm's back "Harm, you _need_ to get back into bed, I can feel all of your muscles spasming." AJ stated firmly as he lifted Harm's head and stared directly into the younger man's eyes. Harm nodded his consent "Good boy." AJ said with a smile as he began carefully shuffling back towards the bed.

"You're right sir – You should have started a relationship with Harm all those years ago… You've got him completely whipped." Mac said with an approving giggle as she came over to the bed and helped AJ get Harm back down into the bed.

Harm growled loudly as he laid back down "FUCK!" Harm shouted as he gripped his stomach, breathing rapidly as sharp pains shot through his stomach.

Mac quickly fumbled for the pain meds on the nightstand and popped out two of the pills and handed them over to Harm. Harm eagerly swallowed them down and relaxed against the mattress.

"Get some sleep, Harm." Mac said as she kissed his forehead, then kissed AJ's cheek "You too, AJ." Mac said commandingly as she winked at both men, then quickly left the bedroom to the spare bedroom.

* * *

AJ chuckled as he crawled into the bed and laid down beside Harm, "When did she get the nerve to boss _me_ around?" AJ asked as he settled underneath the covers, carefully pulling them up and over his and Harm's body.

"I don't know… She's always been bossy with me." Harm said with a quiet laugh as he stared up at the ceiling "Can we get a TV installed on the ceiling?" Harm asked as he looked over at AJ.

AJ shook his head "No, we cannot get a TV on the ceiling, but if you'd like, I'll get one and put it on the dresser…" AJ stated as he gently brushed his fingertips through Harm's hair.

Harm nodded slowly as he cradled his head in the crook of AJ's arm "I'd like…" he whispered as he crawled his fingers around AJ's flat stomach.

"Harm stop." AJ said as he flattened Harm's hand on his abdomen.

Harm sighed dramatically as he curved against AJ's side and looked up at him, "It's been over a month, AJ! I'm so horny!" Harm whined, a whimper forming in his throat.

AJ groaned as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair, "I know baby, I know…" AJ said, sighing in frustration as he laid his head against Harm's.

"There's nothing we can do?" Harm asked as he began caressing the fine hairs of AJ's stomach and chest.

AJ shook his head slowly "No, now stop touching me like that. I _really_ do not want to hurt you Harm." AJ said as he slid off the bed and pulled on his robe.

Harm sighed as he laid flat on his back again, crossing his arms over his chest "Fine…" Harm whispered sadly as he closed his eyes tight, keeping the tears from falling.

AJ sighed heavily as he sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands over his head slowly "Harm, I want too… I really do. But, I love you, and you're in so much pain already… I just, I don't want to add to that… Please tell me you understand?" AJ asked as he turned to face Harm.

Harm nodded his head slowly as he took a few shuddering breaths "I do." Harm whispered as his entire body began shaking from the emotional overload, tears spilling down his cheeks rapidly.

AJ quickly moved across the bed and wrapped his arms around Harm's chest lightly, "It's okay… It's okay, I'm right here." AJ whispered soothingly as he ran his hand up and down Harm's arm.

Harm gripped onto AJ's arms tightly as he continued sobbing heavily, AJ sighed as he lifted his head up and stared at the ceiling, sending a silent prayer to whoever would listen to take away Harm's pain.

* * *

The next day, AJ shuffled into the kitchen tiredly, keeping his eyes on the floor, "You alright?" Mac asked as she walked into the kitchen behind AJ and headed straight to the coffee pot.

"Yeah… No… God, I can't even think straight right now. All I can think about is Harm, and whoever the hell destroyed his confidence… he's losing the battle Mac." AJ said, sighing heavily as he sat down on one of the bar stools, holding his head in his hands.

"Not all is lost yet, AJ – We'll find out who did this to him, and we'll fix it… We have too. How many times has he gone to bat to fix us and our problems?" Mac asked as she came over to AJ and set her hands against his back.

"More than enough times… You're right Mac, we need to go to the ends for him… We have to-…" AJ started to say, but was suddenly cut off by the loud screams coming from upstairs.

AJ quickly flew off the stool and ran upstairs, when he ran into the bedroom he saw Harm thrashing and screaming his lungs out on the bed, "Harm! Harm!" AJ shouted as he slammed Harm's shoulders into the bed to hold him still.

"NO! NO! STOP!" Harm screamed as his body continued thrashing viciously on the bed.

Mac ran into the room and held Harm's legs down on the bed to keep him as still as possible, AJ growled as he pressed what weight he could down onto Harm's shoulders "HARM!" AJ screamed as he stared down at Harm's face, frowning at the pained expression that his lover was wearing.

Harm's body slowly began relaxing under the pressure from AJ's hands and the soothing words that AJ was whispering in his ear "I can't… I can't do this AJ…" Harm whispered hoarsely as the tears rolled down the side of his face.

AJ sighed as he stroked Harm's forehead lightly, "You have to Harm… You have to get through this…" AJ said softly as he sat on the edge of the bed, intertwining his fingers with Harm's.

Mac sighed as she crawled up the bed and sat down beside Harm "We'll get you through this Harm, we love you too much to let you go through this alone." Mac said soothingly as she brushed the tears off Harm's cheek.

Harm nodded slowly as he turned his body slightly, burying his head into AJ's stomach as the tears continued to fall from his eyes.

AJ looked over at Mac and sighed heavily, "Harm, try and go back to sleep, okay?" AJ asked softly as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair lightly, then carefully laid him back down on the bed.

* * *

AJ stood up and quietly left the bedroom with Mac after Harm had finally fallen back to sleep, he slumped against the wall outside of the room and shook his head "He's completely broken." AJ whispered as he rubbed his head vigorously.

Mac shook her head and grabbed AJ's wrists, I've seen him like this AJ… He's not broken. He's scared, terrified… Remember when Clark Palmer got into his head?" Mac asked as she leaned down slightly to look up into AJ's eyes.

AJ nodded slowly as he straightened himself up slightly, blinking back his own tears "When he couldn't face anyone, he came to me… Slept on my couch for a week… The nightmares he had, they were similar to this. It took forever for me to help him get through the nightmares, but eventually he came out on the other side. He _will_ get through this as well. He just needs time, and a lot of support to work through these demons. And if you need me too, I will stay." Mac said as she looked up at AJ.

AJ shook his head slowly "Mac, you have a command to get back too. You've already been here a month, and three weeks of that month were spent in a hospital watching him lay in a coma. Go home Mac, please." AJ said softly, frowning slightly.

Mac nodded as she kissed the top of AJ's head and hugged him warmly "I will. My flight is open ended, so I'll leave… I have faith that you will get Harm back into shape AJ." Mac said as she turned and headed back into the spare bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Three months later, Harm and AJ had experienced several fights over the time Harm had been on bed rest, but their love for each other had never faltered, they were still passionate and the fights only fueled the fire of their passions, they were both eager for Harm's body to recover from the physical brokenness.

Harm groaned as he limped in through the front door, holding onto his side "AJ!" Harm called out as he leaned heavily against the wall, his hands trembling as the mail in his hand fell to the floor, scattering across the hardwoods.

AJ came down the stairs, picking up the scattered envelopes, setting them on top of the bureau, "What's wrong?" AJ asked as he wrapped his arm around Harm's waist and carefully moved him over to the couch.

"I can't… I can't even walk to the end of the driveway!" Harm said as he sat down, holding his head in his hands, his entire body shaking slightly.

AJ sighed as he brushed his hand over Harm's back lightly "You'll get there, Harm, you only just started rehab a week ago." AJ said softly as he laid back on the couch and pulled Harm down in between his legs, "What'd the doctor say about us?" AJ asked as he ran his fingertips across Harm's neck softly.

Harm chuckled as he turned over and planted gentle kisses along AJ's collarbone, "He said… we can… return to… all normal… activity…" Harm said between kisses as he slowly began moving his lips down AJ's bare chest.

"Oh… Oh god…" AJ panted out as his hips lifted off the couch slightly, biting down on his bottom lip tightly.

"Mmm, stay like that." Harm said with a smirk as he hooked his fingers through the waistband of AJ's boxers, slowly divesting AJ of the fabric and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Harm…" AJ gasped out as Harm's head moved down and began slowly sucking the underside of AJ's cock, "Oh god!" AJ growled as he gripped the top of the couch with one hand, his hips bucking upward towards Harm's mouth.

Harm set his hands onto AJ's hips and held him down onto the couch as he wrapped his lips around AJ's cock and began sucking the length down slowly "Harm… Oh fuck… Oh god… I'm… I'm too close!" AJ panted out as his hips wriggled from side to side.

Harm nodded as he swirled his tongue around the base of AJ's cock and slowly pulled up as he looked at AJ with a lustful look in his eyes.

AJ growled from the loss of contact, his brown eyes pinning Harm with a hard stare. Harm giggled as he slowly moved up AJ's body again, "I want you inside of me, daddy." Harm whispered into AJ's ear.

AJ groaned as he wrapped his arms around Harm's shoulder and pulled him down into a hard, possessive kiss.

Harm groaned as he laid down against AJ's chest, nuzzling into his neck and letting out a jaw-cracking yawn, "Harm?" AJ questioned quietly, gently stroking down Harm's back. Harm mumbled something incoherently against AJ's neck. AJ sighed as he continued his ministrations, "Go to sleep Harm, it's okay." AJ whispered as he adjusted on the couch slightly, pulling the blanket down from the back of the couch and wrapping it around their bodies.

AJ continued running his hand up and down Harm's back, soothing him as Harm's breathing began evening out, falling asleep rather quickly. AJ laid there quietly as he carded his fingers through the long black strands of Harm's hair, eventually letting sleep pull him under as well.

* * *

An hour later, Harm shot up from his position on the couch, it was an effort but he was eventually up and carefully moving to the kitchen, emptying his stomach contents into the sink.

AJ blinked a couple times at the sudden draft of air rolling over his body "Harm?" AJ called out quietly as he stood up and slipped back into his boxers, walking into the kitchen to see Harm leaning over the sink, letting the water run full stream over his head.

"Harm, what's wrong?" AJ asked as he walked over to Harm and gently rubbed up and down his back. Harm shook his head slowly, the water droplets spraying off his hair in every direction.

AJ sighed as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around Harm's head and drying his hair with tender care, "I don't know what happened… I just got really nauseas all of a sudden… Couldn't hold it down so…" Harm said as he waved his hand over the sink.

Harm shook his head as he sunk down to the tile floor, taking in a shuddering breath as he looked up at AJ "Why can't I shake it? Why is it that every time I close my eyes, all I can see is that day?" Harm questioned shakily, looking down at his trembling hands.

"I don't know Harm, I really don't know what's going on..." AJ said softly as he sat down in front of Harm, grasping Harm's neck lightly in his fingertips "Look at me." AJ commanded in a gentle tone.

Harm lifted his head obediently as he looked up at AJ. AJ inhaled deeply as he ran his thumbs over Harm's neck softly, "I know you won't listen to me if I tell you that you need to see a therapist, but I am telling you, that you _need_ to talk to me. Tell me what you need to say, I will help you through everything. But you need to trust me and open up. Is that understood?" AJ asked, his voice firm and commanding.

Harm nodded his head "I understand, sir." Harm replied quietly as he inhaled shakily and leaned forward, kissing AJ on the lips softly.

"Good, let's go back into the living room… I'll bring us something to drink." AJ said softly as he stood up and helped Harm up to his feet carefully.

Harm shuffled back into the living room and curled up on the couch, plucking at the afghan. AJ grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and walked back into the living room, sitting on the coffee table in front of Harm.

Harm clasped his hands over his knee, chin resting against his chest "Every time I close my eyes and I get into a deeper sleep… All I can see is the darkness, the cold on my body… The blood seeping out of every wound I had. I feel everything from that night, my ribs being broken, my legs… Feel my insides burning and the searing pain of the beating…" Harm shook his head as his body shuddered slightly.

"Keep going, Harm. You're doing good." AJ prodded softly, gently squeezing Harm's hands.

Harm nodded slowly "Every time I get to REM sleep… the nightmares come back, and not just of the beating either, but… That one plays a bigger role in my mind… I see losing my father again, I see the ramp-strike, losing Diane… The mountains when I was with Mac. The things that happened in Russia – Both times – I see the Suribachi… Practically every bad thing that has ever happened in my life. I see it play repeatedly in my mind. The knot in my stomach tightens and it overwhelms me, and the tension eventually releases like it did earlier…" Harm said with a sigh as he slid off the couch slowly and knelt in front of AJ, his head falling to his chest again as the tears rode down his cheeks.

AJ inhaled deeply as he slid his fingers through Harm's hair, gently massaging Harm's scalp, "Breathe Harm… Just relax." AJ whispered soothingly.

Harm eventually climbed back up onto the couch, his tears having subsided as he looked up at AJ, "How do you do it?" Harm asked quietly as he twisted his palms together.

"How do I do what?" AJ asked with a raised eyebrow as he stared back at Harm with a smile on his ace.

"Make me open up like that… make me obey your commands… when you were never able to do so before?" Harm rattled off questions until AJ settled a finger over his lips, ceasing Harm's rambling.

"You've willingly submitted to me Harm, you love me with everything you have inside of you. Before, when I was just the Admiral… You couldn't submit to me, you didn't even know there was a possibility for us…" AJ stated quietly, Harm opened his mouth to say something but AJ shook his head, "You knew you felt _something_ towards me, but you didn't know what it was. I know that harm, but I was never going to take advantage of that until I knew you were ready… I may have waited longer than I should have, considering you almost ran off and got married… But, I knew that the time had come to pass, and I knew what I had to do." AJ said as he gently stroked his finger over Harm's cheek.

"So, I didn't listen to you, because I was fighting the urges that were strongly pulling me in your direction? But now that you're… we're… together… I listen, because I love you?" Harm asked hesitantly.

AJ nodded his head slowly as he leaned forward, kissing Harm on the lips softly "You've given yourself over to me, in spades, Harm." AJ said with finality as he stood up and walked into the open space of the living room, "Come here." AJ commanded as he stared at the floor in front of his feet.

Harm slowly stood up and walked over to AJ, stopping directly in front of him, his entire body tensed as he stood at attention.

AJ chuckled as he looked up from Harm's feet to his face, "Always the golden boy, standing at attention for his superiors." AJ said with a smile as he stepped backwards, Harm easily stepped forward, following AJ's movements, "Good, I didn't have to tell you." AJ said with a smile.

The two men carefully stepped around the living room, Harm following each of AJ's steps "It hurts." Harm whispered harshly after thirty minutes of silence.

AJ sighed as he nodded his head "What hurts? Legs, chest or stomach?" AJ asked curiously as he glanced over Harm's entire body again, noticing the slight tremor of Harm's thigh muscles.

"Legs…" Harm gasped out as a muscle spasm sent him down, AJ quickly grabbed Harm's elbows before he collapsed and straightened Harm back upright, "How long has it been hurting?" AJ asked as he continued holding onto Harm.

"Twenty minutes." Harm replied quietly as he lowered his head to his chin.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" AJ asked, a stern look on his face.

"Didn't… want to disappoint you." Harm stated as his legs wobbled again, collapsing forward into AJ's chest.

"Okay… Okay…" AJ sighed as he carefully walked Harm over to the couch again, lying him down onto his back.

* * *

With Harm now lying down, a heating pad covering both of his legs, AJ sat on the coffee table in front of Harm, "I could never be disappointed in you. There is no way that you could do that." AJ said softly as he brushed a few stray hairs out of Harm's face.

Harm nodded tiredly as he looked up at AJ with half-lidded eyes "Never disappoint… daddy is… good to me…" Harm mumbled tiredly, nuzzling into AJ's hand.

AJ sighed as he continued running his fingers through Harm's hair, "Sleep." AJ said in a gentle, yet commanding tone.

Harm nodded as he turned onto his side, closing his eyes completely as sleep took hold of his body once more.

AJ sat in silence as he watched Harm lay there, his entire body relaxed and a look of innocence on Harm's face. Unfortunately the look didn't last as his facial expression twisted into a mix of terror and hurt, AJ checked his watch and shook his head, Harm had only been sleeping for twenty minutes at this point and he was already fighting another nightmare "No… NO! Don't!" Harm shouted in his sleep, squirming and grasping at anything to keep him grounded.

AJ quickly dropped to his knees and cradles Harm's head in his hands, "Harm, relax… C'mon… It's me, come back to me baby." AJ said firmly as he stroked his fingers through Tony's hair softly.

After a few more compassionate words, Harm's body stopped moving and he remained asleep, the nightmares seemingly falling into the abyss. AJ sighed in relief as he continued caressing Harm's head with a gentle and caring touch.


	7. Chapter 7

Harm woke up several hours later, his eyes fluttering open slowly, he smiled as he tilted his head back and looked up to see that AJ was still sitting on the coffee table at his head, his fingers still carding through Harm's hair.

Harm yawned loudly, stretching out his body with a moan "How long have I been asleep?" Harm asked, rubbing at his eyes to clear the remaining fog of sleep.

"About five hours. You started having a nightmare about twenty minutes into it, but I was able to get you to calm back down." AJ said with a smile, leaning forward to kiss Harm on the forehead softly.

Harm nodded his head slowly, staring up at AJ with an awestricken expression "You actually got me to stay asleep?" Harm asked in astonishment, slowly turning to sit up on the couch, folding one leg underneath himself.

AJ nodded slowly "Yeah, I got you to sleep and stay asleep. Why do you find that so hard to believe?" AJ asked curiously, rubbing his thumb over Harm's cheek lightly.

Harm sighed as he leaned into the touch, biting back his bottom lip slightly "Mac's the only other person who was able to pull me out of nightmares like that… I… I… I never thought… that… I'd… find another person… who could soothe… the… the demons that… grip at my…" Harm stammered out as he shook his head, tears streaking down his cheeks.

AJ sighed as he moved onto the couch and wrapped his arm around Harm's shoulder, pulling him in closely and kissing his forehead repeatedly "Shhh, shhh, its okay. Calm down, its okay." AJ whispered soothingly into Harm's ear as he rocked him back and forth slowly. Harm took a few deep and calming breaths, his tears slowly subsiding as he looked up at AJ, "Good boy, very good." AJ praised softly as he brushed the residual tears off Harm's cheeks, "You okay now?" AJ asked softly.

Harm nodded slowly as he licked his lips slowly "Yes, I'm okay." Harm replied quietly as he stood up, walking around the living room slowly, fingers touching every surface around the room.

"What are you doing?" AJ asked curiously as he watched Harm from his spot, his eyes following Harm's every movement.

Harm shrugged slightly "Tactile comfort…" Harm replied quietly as he picked up a picture off the mantle, running his thumb slowly around the frame, after a few seconds he put it back down on the mantle.

"So… touching things, comforts you?" AJ asked curiously, learning yet another thing about the man he loves more than anything.

Harm nodded slowly as continued touching objects around the room, sometimes picking them up and running his fingers over the textures, "Yeah, it does." Harm whispered as he turned back towards the couch "I know it sounds weird… but, I've always been a hands-on type… Can't really explain it." Harm said with a shrug as he carefully dropped to his knees in front of AJ, hands turned upright on his thighs.

"Now what're you doing?" AJ asked curiously as he turned a bit on the couch to look down at Harm with a raised eyebrow.

Harm inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly "This… this is tough for me… so give me time to explain?" Harm asked as he glanced up at AJ briefly, AJ nodded his approval and watched on intently as Harm lowered his head back to his chest.

"For as long as I can remember… Control was all I ever had in my life… from the moment I lost my father, to now… I had to fight with my emotions… Lost control a few times, but never completely. I've never been able to let go completely… But with you, I've been shown to a side of myself that I locked away a long time ago… Not… not being gay but being in love… I'm grateful for everything that you've shown me… and everything you've done for me. Today, especially today… You've seen a side of me… that only two other people have ever seen, Mac and my grandmother. They're the only two people who have ever been able to… pull me out of a nightmare." Harm inhaled deeply as he lowered his head just a bit further.

Lifting both his arms up straight, locking his elbows to keep them steady "On this day, I turn over to you; my lover, my best friend, the one I will love forever… All my control, as I no longer need to keep my emotions or control in check like I have in the past. I give this control to you willingly and without coercion. My life is important to me, and I am putting that life into the hands of a man who loves me and is capable of taking care of me when necessary." Harm stated turning his head up slightly to smile up at AJ.

AJ inhaled shakily as he swiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, moving to kneel in front of Harm, wrapping his fingers around his wrists lightly, "You're completely subbing to me?" AJ asked softly, Harm nodded slowly "I accept your submission, and will always honor the faith you have put into my love, my devotion to you as a person. I will forever love you, honor you, cherish you and protect you, as I would my own life. I will never push you away, make you feel any pain or hurt, and I will never betray you or make you lose your trust in me." AJ said calmly as he slid one hand up Harm's harm and clasped the back of Harm's neck softly.

Harm lifted his head completely and opened his eyes "I am yours." Harm whispered.

AJ nodded his head "And I am yours." he replied in a whisper, leaning forward to kiss Harm deeply and passionately.

* * *

A year after fully submitting himself to AJ, Harm had finally settled himself down into a comfortable routine, he no longer took risk after risk, he relinquished his flight status completely, living in the moment instead of planning for the days ahead, he felt as if he were at total peace with his internal demons now.

Harm walked into the townhouse, sighing heavily as he stripped out of his uniform and laid it over the back of a waiting chair near the door, he walked quietly through the house, his ears listening intently to the location in which his lover was located, he quietly walked up the stairs and stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Took you long enough to get up here. I thought you'd actually search the entire downstairs before making it up to me." AJ said, chuckling softly, his back still turned away from Harm as he continued putting laundry away from a nearby basket.

Harm remained silent, his arms behind his back and his head turned down, AJ finally put everything he was doing down and turned to look at Harm, noticing the bright smile gracing his features "What put that beautiful smile on your face today?" AJ asked as he crossed the bedroom, standing directly in front of Harm – neither man touching.

Harm slowly lifted his head, "We're headed back to Washington." Harm said, an excited laugh escaping his lips, his eyes shining brightly.

"What?! Why?! How?! When?!" AJ asked excitedly, grabbing Harm by the arm and pulling him into his chest, their lips colliding in a soul-searing kiss that left Harm breathless and making him feel as if he were floating.

"I'm… Maybe we should sit down?" Harm asked as he guided AJ over to the bed, both men sat down and faced each other, their fingers interlocked.

Harm inhaled deeply as he bit back his bottom lip slightly "Harm, what's going on?" AJ asked softly as he ran his hand up Harm's arm, gently cuffing the side of his neck, his thumb rubbing circles against the soft skin of his lover's neck.

"The what; I'm being recalled to Washington. Why; you'll find out once we get there. How; typically, by plane, unless you'd rather go by boat, it'd take a lot longer to get there however, and since I'm on a weeks' timeline… that wouldn't work out. When; I have two days to close out things here at the FJA, two days to make flight plans and get out of here… Unfortunately that doesn't leave me much time for anything." Harm said as he dropped backwards onto the bed, letting out a puff of air and resting his hands on his stomach.

"We've got a bit of time, if you want to… We can work on the next phase of releasing your control." AJ said as he stood up from the bed and looked down at Harm.

"Sounds a little fun." Harm said with a tired laugh as he moved to lay in the middle of the bed, spreading his arms out to the top of the bed.

AJ chuckled as he walked into the closet, grabbing a belt and tie, "Just… not the legs." Harm whispered as he looked over at AJ.

AJ nodded slowly "I know Harm… Why do you always remind me of that?" AJ asked as he climbed up onto the bed, straddling Harm's chest lightly.

Harm sighed as he looked up at AJ "Because, sometimes you forget things!" Harm said with a teasing smirk on his face.

AJ laughed as he leaned forward, lightly slapping Harm on the cheek, "I don't forget anything, ever." AJ said as he laid the belt over the headboard, then lifted Harm's head up slightly as he tied the tie over his eyes, tightening it just enough "That good?" AJ asked as he brushed his fingers over Harm's cheek softly.

"Yes." Harm gasped out, his body arching off the bed slightly.

"Horny already?" AJ asked, chuckling slightly as he grabbed the bed, looping the leather belt around Harm's wrists then looping it through the headboard.

"Yes." Harm panted out, his body writhing on the bed slightly as he bit down on his bottom lip. AJ chuckled as he slowly got off the bed and stood at the bedside, setting the flat of his palm on the center of Harm's chest.

AJ felt the pounding of Harm's heart, and the heavy breathes that Harm were taking "What're you feeling?" AJ asked as he pressed his knees against the bed.

Harm gasped for breathes, his body arching and falling against the bed, "I'm… I'm feeling… dizzy… light-headed…" Harm gasped out, tugging at the belt wrapped around his wrists almost viciously.

"Harm… Harm listen to my voice." AJ commanded as he stroked up and down Harm's chest and stomach.

Harm shuddered as he started thrashing restlessly against the bed, his wrists pulling fiercely at the belt and headboard "HARM!" AJ shouted as he pinned Harm's shoulders down to the bed.

Harm slowly calmed back down, his breathing harsh and rapid as he laid limply against the bed "Damn it… This is never going to work AJ." Harm stated as he slipped his wrists out of the belt, lifting the tie off his eyes as he looked up at AJ.

AJ sighed as he laid down on the bed beside Harm, "You're still harboring too much fear from that night… You have to release it…" AJ said softly as he slipped his arm underneath Harm's neck and pulled him closer, "Just talk to me, okay?" AJ asked as he stroked his fingers through Harm's hair softly.

Harm nodded as he climbed off the bed and got down onto his knees, palms turned upright against his thighs, AJ sighed as he sat up on the bed in front of Harm and waited for him to begin.

Harm inhaled deeply, his hands trembling slightly against his thighs "When Mace and I crashed… we were so young… Barely had a chance to live… All I wanted to do was be exactly like my father… To be who I was born to be… Never imagined going out the way we did… But, I didn't die… Why didn't I die?" Harm asked as he looked up at AJ.

AJ sighed as he shook his head "I can't answer that, and you know it. Keep going." AJ said as he pushed Harm's head back down to his chest.

Harm nodded as he nibbled on his bottom lip "When Diane was murdered… She was one of my best friends at the academy… Being framed for her murder was hard to handle, but I managed to get through it, because I knew that I didn't do it. But with Krennick constantly berating me and chasing me around, I hardly knew what was up or down anymore… I gave up the notion of ever finding her killer, until one night… all the pieces fell into place. As usual though, Mac was there to pull my six out of the thick of it…" Harm said with a heavy sigh, lifting his head to look up at AJ again, tears filling his eyes.

AJ nodded as he leaned forward and kissed Harm on the lips briefly, then gently pushed his head back down to his chest "Keep going." AJ whispered as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair.

Harm nodded as he inhaled deeply again "When Mac and I went flying together that first time… The fuel line breaking… I did a thorough pre-flight check, no idea how I missed it… I landed as safely as I could… Protecting her in the forest was my number one priority… I nearly failed… Almost lost my best friend… It wasn't one of my more traumatic experiences, but it still rattles my cage all the time." Harm stated, his hands trembling even, taking a few calming breathes and looking up at AJ again.

This time no action, AJ smiled as he leaned forward, kissing Harm lovingly, holding onto the side of his neck "You did good, we'll do more later, okay?" AJ asked softly, Harm nodded as he slowly crawled back into the bed, snuggling into his pillow.

Harm was nearly asleep when his cellphone rang, AJ sighed as he grabbed the phone and set it in Harm's outstretched hand, "Rabb." Harm answered brusquely, Harm shot up slightly "Yes general… Yes sir, I recei… Oh… Yes sir, I understand. Yes sir. I'll be on it, yes sir. Good bye sir." Harm said into the phone, sighing as he slapped the phone shut, tossing it onto the bed.

Harm got up and headed into the closet, grabbing his duffle bag off the top shelf, shoving shirts, socks and undergarments into the back "What's going on?" AJ asked as he watched Harm from the bed.

Harm sighed as he pulled his khaki uniforms from their hangers "Well, I was _supposed_ to be going to Washington, but that has changed…" Harm stated as he slipped his uniforms into their garment bags.

AJ raised his eyebrow "Khakis? Harm, _where_ are you going?" AJ demanded to know, getting off the bed and standing in the closet doorway.

Harm sighed as he slipped into his flight suit and shook his head "I'm headed to the _Enterprise_ …" Harm whispered as he tossed his duffle bag onto the bed "Could you grab my boots and tags?" Harm asked as he adjusted his flight suit and zipped it up.

AJ nodded as he grabbed Harm's boots, a pair of socks and his dog tags, he walked back into the bedroom and handed the items to Harm "So, is it an investigation or what? What is going on?" AJ asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Harm with a worried expression on his face.

Harm sighed as he slipped on his tags and shoved them into his suit, he then sat on the edge of his bed, rolling the socks up his feet and slipping into his boots "It's need to know – And before you say it, you're not an admiral anymore AJ, so you _don't_ need to know, even though you want to know." Harm stated firmly as he laced up his boots effortlessly.

"I thought you quit flying?!" AJ asked, his voice rising a bit, but not near shouting level.

Harm shrugged as he slid his duffle bag over his shoulder "I _did_! But, apparently this is something no one else can do… They need a hero…" Harm said, clear doubt in his voice as he headed for the door, "Are you taking me to the airfield or am I on my own for now?" Harm asked as he stood in the doorway.

AJ sighed as he stood up, walking over to Harm, he wrapped his arms around Harm's waist and kissed his cheeks, "I'm always with you." AJ whispered as the two men began walking down the stairs together.

Harm stood in front of the door and sighed, turning back to AJ, "I love you, AJ." Harm said as he grabbed the older man by his neck and pulled him in close, their lips locking in a heated and passionate kiss.

"I love you too, Harm." AJ said once he pulled back from the kiss, both men exited the townhouse and climbed into AJ's SUV, their fingers intertwined as they silently drove to the airfield.

Once AJ pulled into the parking lot, he tugged Harm's hand lightly "You're going to be okay, Harm." AJ said softly as he pulled Harm's hand up to his lips and gently kissed the back of it.

Harm nodded as he watched the lights on the tarmac pass the window "Not like I've never flown before, AJ." Harm said with a smirk as he turned his head to look at AJ.

AJ rolled his eyes and parked the vehicle, "I know… But sometimes I have to reassure you of these things. Don't do any stupid stuff this time, no heroics… Bail out if you have too… I can't and won't hear of your death over the TV, you hear me?" AJ asked firmly as he grabbed Harm by the back of the head and pulled him closer.

Harm nodded slowly "I understand and I will obey your lawful order, _sir._ " Harm stated as he leaned in and kissed AJ on the lips chastely. Harm hopped out of the SUV and grabbed his duffle bag, then quickly ran towards the waiting chopper.

AJ stared into the darkness as the chopper took off, taking th love of his life with him, the words that Harm told him earlier continuously running through his mind ' _Need to know_.' AJ growled as he grabbed his cellphone and punched in the number he _wished_ he could forget.


	8. Chapter 8

The ringing of his cellphone woke him from a peaceful dream, he groaned loudly as he reached over to the offending device on the nightstand and flipped it open "Webb…" Clayton Webb – CIA Operative, and all around pain in AJ's ass – answered the phone tiredly.

"WEBB! What the hell do you have Harm doing now?!" AJ shouted into the phone angrily.

Clay instantly sat up, wide awake from the tone of AJ's voice, "AJ… I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Clay said quietly as he climbed out of the bed, as to not disturb his husband.

"Damn it Clay… He was just whisked off on a mission… He said it was need to know… Which, we _all_ know is code for CIA Mission." AJ said, sighing heavily as he laid his head against the steering wheel.

Clay sighed as he leaned against the wall outside of his bedroom "Wasn't me AJ… I'm not in the business anymore… Well, not at a capacity where I can broker the help of others like I used to… I'll look into it AJ, okay?' Clay said in a gentle tone.

AJ growled loudly, slamming his palm against the steering wheel "Get back to me once you know something Clay!" AJ demanded, then took a deep breathing "And Clay… Thanks… Sorry to have disturbed you and your husband… How is he doing, anyway?" AJ asked, an emotionless chuckle rumbling in his throat.

Clay smirked as he looked into the bedroom, laughing softly "Perfectly happy, especially after you forced us to see how much we loved each other… Victor is… insatiable." Clay said softly as he stared into the bedroom where Victor was still fast asleep on his stomach.

"It was something you needed Clay… Anyway, if you find out anything about why Harm was forced to leave me in the middle of the night would be appreciated…" AJ said as he hung up the phone and drove home.

* * *

Victor groaned as he turned his head and looked over at Clay "What was that about?" Victor mumbled tiredly.

"Harm was apparently 'whisked off' on a secret mission a few minutes ago… AJ wanted to know if I had anything to do with it, and why it was happening." Clay said as he dropped his cellphone back onto the nightstand and slid back into bed.

"Did you have anything to do with it?" Victor asked as he scooted over and laid his head down against Clay's chest.

Clay shook his head as he wrapped an arm around Victor's shoulders "No, but I told AJ I'd find out what I can." Clay said tiredly as sleep started to sink back into his mind.

Victor restlessly moved his fingers across Clay's chest, keeping him from falling asleep completely "What?" Clay mumbled tiredly as he stilled Victor's hand on his chest.

Victor sighed as he sat up and stared down at Clay, pouting slightly "You want me to go find out what I can, now, don't you?" Clay asked as he sat up against the headboard.

Victor nodded his head slowly "Won't be able to go back to sleep if we don't find out." Victor said with a frown on his face.

Clay groaned as he slip back out of bed and headed towards the closet "Well… Are you coming or what?" Clay asked as he began dressing in a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt. Victor quickly scrambled out of bed and got dressed just as quickly, the two men were out of the house in under five minutes.

* * *

Clay and Victor arrived at Langley twenty minutes later and quickly set to work on finding out what they could, Victor couldn't do much with limited access, but Clay was able to dig deeper than any normal operative.

"It's one of Brackman's cases… Damn it!" Clay said frustratingly as he slapped the laptop lid shut and pinched the bridge of his nose tightly.

Victor frowned heavily "That's not good at all Clay… Brackman is… well, you know! He hardly ever gives out enough information, leaves anyone who works for him flapping in the window and dangling off tidbits of information!" Victor said as he cradled his head in his hands, vigorously rubbing at his scalp.

"Yeah, I know. And now I have to talk to AJ about this… I'm going to get my ass torn up from the other side of the world!" Clay said with a humorless laugh as he grabbed his cellphone, hesitantly dialing AJ's number.

AJ answered on the third ring "Clay, what do you know?!" were the first words out of his mouth, demanding an answer as usual.

Clay laughed as he shook his head "And if it weren't me, whomever called you would be worried out of their minds now…" Clay teased as he tapped his fingers on the desk blotter.

"WEBB!" AJ shouted into the phone, his grip tightening on the device minutely.

"Okay, okay… Sorry, AJ. I don't know _much_ , but what I do know is that he's flying a highly sensitive mission off the _Enterprise_ and into Kuwait for Brackman. Brackman is a CIA Special Forces Operative… And AJ…" Clay said with a heavy sigh as he lowered his head onto a closed fist.

"Out with it, Clay! I _need_ to know what you know!" AJ stated, his voice shaking slightly.

Clay nodded as he inhaled deeply, "Brackman is a loose cannon, AJ, and he doesn't give his men all the information they need about their missions… So they're forced to go in practically blind and have to improvise if things go wrong… Harm could be in _serious_ danger, AJ… Especially if he doesn't know everything he needs to know." Clay said regretfully, looking up at Victor with a frown.

AJ sighed heavily as he closed his eyes tightly "Damn it… damn it… damn it… DAMN IT TO TELL!" AJ shouted angrily as he paced the length of the living room of the Townhouse.

"AJ… AJ, can you hear me?!" Clay shouted into the phone, his fingers worrying the edges of the desk blotter.

"Yeah… I'm here. Damn it, why the hell are they doing this?! He's still… he's so fucking vulnerable and fragile Clay… If something happens to him… he'll _never_ and I mean **NEVER** get over it!" AJ said worriedly into the phone as he dropped back down onto the couch as his entire body began trembling.

"AJ, don't worry… We'll be there in fifteen hours, give or take… Just… don't lose hope, alright?" Clay said as he stood up, grabbing his laptop and Victor's hand, both men racing towards the exit.

"Okay… I'll be here." AJ whispered hoarsely as he closed his phone and then laid down on the couch, curling up as the anger and fear coursed and warred within the confines of AJ's body.

* * *

True to his word, Clay and Victor walked into the townhouse fifteen hours and five minutes later, "AJ!" Clay called out as he pulled off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, while Victor stripped out of his clothes until he was standing in his boxers, hanging the articles of clothing on the chair by the door.

AJ came into the living room and smiled sadly "He's safe, for now, AJ… I just got word from the ships' captain, he hasn't even received flight operations yet. They'll be doing that in about two hours." Clay announced, wrapping his arms around the older man comfortingly.

AJ breathed out a ragged breath and clutched onto Clay "Doesn't completely settle my nerves… but as long as he's okay right now…" AJ said as he grabbed Victor by the wrist and pulled him into the hug as well.

Several minutes had passed as the three men held onto each other for support and comfort, they eventually broke apart and headed to the couch, all collapsing into it tiredly. Victor curled up into Clay's side, the three men linked their hands together in the center of the couch.

"He's going to be alright, AJ… You have to believe that." Clay said softly as he looked up into the older man's worried eyes.

"I do believe that, for the most part… Ever since he submitted to me… I just, I didn't think anything like this would happen again – How the hell did he get pulled into a CIA mission, Clay?" AJ asked as he looked over at Clay, a single stray tear riding down his cheek.

"He may have ended his flight status in the NAVY, but he was never erased from the CIA's flight roster… When he was scrubbed out of the CIA, they must have overlooked that, or they purposefully left him in there… You know he has untouchable knowledge when it comes to anything aircraft after just reading the manual… I don't know where he puts all that knowledge, but the man can fly _anything_ so long as he reads the book first." Clay stated honestly as he looked down briefly, then reached up, swiping the tear off AJ's cheek.

"What's he flying, Clay?" AJ asked quietly, looking down at his lap to hide the emotional war raging inside of him.

Clay sighed as he closed his eyes tightly, letting out a shaky breath as he looked back over at AJ, "He's flying a B 1B Lancer." Clay said quietly as he drew his leg up onto the couch, tucking it underneath himself.

"He's flying a supersonic bomber?! What the hell!? WHY!?" AJ shouted as he flew off the couch, beginning to frantically pace around the living room.

Clay inhaled deeply as he stood up and grabbed AJ's shoulders to stop his rapid pacing, "According to the intel, at least from what I saw, Brackman has been working several angles on Al Qaeda insurgent camps. Harm is supposed to go in and do a quick fly over – And if the gathered Intel is correct, he'll go back around, drop bombs on the camp so that SEAL Team Six, Eight and Ten can go in and wreak havoc on the ground…" AJ stated as he guided AJ back over to the couch.

AJ inhaled deeply, blinking a couple of times, "Three seal teams on the ground… Harm is in the air, is he their _only_ air support?" AJ asked, his mind switching into 'Admiral Mode'.

Clay shook his head slowly "He has his wingman and two other supports – Four bombers in total." Clay informed him as he sat back down on the couch, Victor quickly taking up his position on Clay's chest again.

* * *

After a few minutes of silence, AJ looked over at Victor and Clay, laughing softly "Awful clingy, aren't ya Vic?" AJ asked teasingly as he tapped Victor under the chin.

Victor shook his head slowly, smiling slightly "Not clingy, just listening." Victor said with a wink as he patted Clay's chest lightly.

"He listens to my breathing and my heartbeat, listening to the changes helps soothe him when he's stressed." Clay said softly as he carefully threaded his fingers through Victor's hair, a low purr emanating from Victor's throat.

AJ laughed again as he shook his head "Harm does that too… Must be a sub thing." AJ said with a shrug as he stood up and grabbed his cellphone off the bureau, starling the two men when the cellphone started ringing in AJ's hand.

AJ grinned as he flipped the phone open and set it to his ear "Hey baby, how're you doing?" AJ asked as he wrapped an arm around his stomach.

"I'm okay… I don't have much… time to talk… But I couldn't… I can't… AJ I need… help…" Harm said brokenly, his breathes coming in short and pained gasps.

"Harm, listen to me." AJ said in a firm tone, standing as still as possible as he focused all of his energy on the phone in his hand.

"I'm listening." Harm said quietly, his breathes still harsh and ragged.

"You need to breathe, focus, do your mission, and come home. Is that clear?" AJ said in a command tone, clenching his fist tightly.

"Breathe. Focus. Mission. Come Home. Crystal clear, sir." Harm replied honestly as his breathing started coming under control.

"Good boy. Very good. Now, tell me what I want to hear." AJ whispered as he turned his back on the pair of eyes staring at him.

"I am in control, I am focused and ready to take the next step. You are my center and will keep me grounded in mind, body and spirit." Harm recited, his breathing coming further under control.

AJ grinned as he listened intently to the breathing coming over the line "Good boy. Now, go out there and kick some ass, Sailor. I'll be waiting at home for you, with arms wide open." AJ said as he disconnected the call without giving Harm a chance to reply.

Clay smiled as he continued running his fingers over Victor's head, "AJ, would you like to delight in something to soothe your nerves?" Clay asked as he looked down at Victor who was drowsily running his fingers across Clay's stomach.

"You don't mind?" AJ questioned as he walked back over to the couch and looked between Clay and Victor.

Clay shook his head slowly as he patted Victor on the back softly, "I don't." Clay said as he stood up slowly.

AJ smiled softly as he took Clay's place on the couch, Victor immediately curled up into AJ's chest and began running his fingers lazily across AJ's stomach as he had done to Clay's while AJ began running his fingers through the short hairs on Victor's head.


	9. Chapter 9

Ten days had passed since AJ heard anything from or about Harm, he could hardly sleep or eat as he paced through the living room for the hundredth time that day. Clay and Victor were both weary as well, especially from AJ's restless strides through the house.

"Where the hell is he Clay?! It's been ten days! WHERE IS HE?!" AJ shouted as he bored his brown eyes into the back of Clay's head.

Clay sighed tiredly as he rubbed his temples slowly "I DON'T KNOW AJ! I don't know where he is! I've been trying to find him, damn it!" Clay shouted back as he spun in the bar stool, staring up at AJ with red-rimmed and angry eyes.

AJ sighed as he dropped heavily onto the ottoman in the living room, rubbing his hands over his scalp viciously, "I need a vacation…" AJ said ruefully as he stared at his feet.

Clay shook his head "No, you need more than that. You need a _Boy's Day_." Clay said with a laugh as he walked into the living room and clapped AJ on the back lightly.

AJ nodded slowly "After we find Harm and bring him home." AJ stated as he rubbed his head again, standing up slowly and looking around the living room.

"He's going to need a boy's day more than I am, I've been having a lot of trouble getting him passed the trauma of the past year. And, if _anything_ has happened to him in Kuwait… He's _really_ going to need it. I don't know why I can't get him through it, I've tried _everything!_ " AJ said, breathing out in frustration, rubbing his head vigorously.

Clay sighed as he grabbed AJ's wrists tightly and stared him directly in the eye "Look at me!" Clay demanded, and AJ popped his eyes open and stared directly into Clay's eyes "He is going to be okay. He is a strong man, he has been through a lot of things in his life, but he has you. You are dominate, and everything that he needs in his life. Your confidence is what will get him and yourself through this right now. Do you understand me?" Clay asked in a firm tone.

AJ nodded slowly "I understand." AJ said quietly as he lowered his head "Now, can you let me go? I know that you can help me, but right now I just… I need-…" AJ started, but was cut off by the sound of a car stopping outside of the house, everything in the room stilled and went silent.

Victor bounded down the stairs excitedly "He's home!" Victor announced as he ran to the front door and pulled the door open.

AJ walked over to the door and watched as Harm carefully got out of the car, his leg bounded in a cast "Oh no…" AJ whispered as he bit back his bottom lip tightly.

Harm grabbed the crutches and settled them under his armpits "Thanks for the ride…" Harm said as he pushed the door shut and carefully guided himself up the driveway.

AJ quickly divested Harm of the crutches and lifted him up into his arms, "What the hell happened?!" AJ asked as he carried Harm over to the couch, laying him down carefully.

Harm groaned as he wrapped his arm across his chest "Hard landing… It's not… as bad as you think… Believe me… I've had worse…" Harm said as he patted AJ's arm lightly.

AJ sighed as he listened to Harm's ragged breathing, settling his hand down onto Harm's chest, "Why're you having trouble catching your breath?" AJ asked firmly, reaching up to slap Harm's cheek lightly to get him to pay attention.

Harm groaned as he shook his head slowly "Tension… Pneumothorax… Doc said it… should get easier… to breathe… in a few… days." Harm said, gasping for each breath.

AJ sighed as he leaned forward, kissing Harm softly on the lips, "I don't want you flying anymore… I don't care who asks you, no matter what alphabet comes after you." AJ said softly against Harm's lips.

Harm nodded slowly "No more… too old… to fly… anyway…" Harm said quietly, coughing into his shoulder as he attempted to laugh.

AJ sighed as he brushed his fingers through Harm's hair softly "Rest babe… We'll talk more later, I promise." AJ said softly as he stood up, laying the afghan over Harm's body, watching as Harm adjusted on the couch, curving into the cushions comfortably.

AJ frowned as he walked into the kitchen, joining Victor and Clay at the breakfast bar "Pneumothorax… Broken leg… Guess it could have been worse." AJ said quietly, rubbing his head slowly.

"He's not lying about how bad it is, is he?" Clay asked, raising his eyebrow as he looked into the living room at Harm.

AJ shook his head slowly "Wouldn't think so, he usually _doesn't_ lie to me… Unless he has no choice. Never lied to me about his health when I asked him though, not anymore…" AJ said softly as he continued staring across the room at the body lying on the couch, heavily snoring with one arm draped over his eyes.

Every so often AJ would check his watch – It had been close to an hour now, "He's been asleep for nearly an hour, and hasn't woken up yet… I can only assume, that whatever happened over there, didn't mess with his mental status." AJ said, but he'd spoken too soon.

Harm began screaming, his entire body convulsing violently against the couch cushions. "DAMN IT!" AJ shouted as he slammed his fist against the bar, then pushed away from it, hastily making his way over to Harm and cradling his lovers head in his lap, gently stroking his fingers through Harm's hair "Come back to me, Harm… Come on, come back to me…" AJ whispered soothingly, continuing to whisper assurances in Harm's ear until the nightmare plaguing his mind had passed. AJ let out a sigh of relief as he rested his forehead against Harm's.

* * *

Clay sighed as he walked over to the couch, cupping AJ's shoulder comfortingly "I'll call Jethro, and tell him when you're headed home. We will deal with Harm's demons then… When are you guys expected back?" Clay asked as he kept his eyes locked with AJ's.

"We'll probably be back in a week or so… And Clay… I don't want to do this at the spot. We need to do this where _he_ will feel safe – I want to do it at my house. No neighbors around to disturb us there. You and LJ have the keys, use it, get everything ready." AJ stated as he grasped Clay's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Yes sir." Clay said with a smile as he stood up and turned back towards Victor "Come on rag-a-muffin, we have backs to pack and plans to make." Clay said with a laugh as he held out his hand to Victor.

"I hate it when you call me that." Victor said, rolling his eyes as he walked past Clay.

Clay laughed as he slapped Victor on the ass lightly, "You, my love, will get over it, trust me." Clay said with a darkened twinkle in his eyes as he walked upstairs, bumping his cock into Victor's rear.

AJ sighed as he continued running his fingers through Harm's hair "They're good for each other." Harm whispered quietly as he nuzzled into AJ's hand.

"Yeah, they are… I'm glad they found each other." AJ whispered as he lifted Harm up slightly and slid in behind him, letting Harm rest against his chest.

Harm smiled as he snuggled into AJ's chest, "Much better. Now I can think clearly." Harm said, giggling slightly as he ran his fingers lazily around AJ's stomach.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" AJ asked as he returned to stroking his fingers through Harm's hair, causing a light purr to rumble in Harm's throat.

"Nothing out of the ordinary happened… My RIO and I – Clyde – were well prepared for flying the bone. We studied it up and down, ran the necessary tests, we did the simulations… Everything went the way it should. Neither of us did anything wrong, we flew in the first time, collected the Intel… Flew around and waited for our orders. When we got them, we went in, dropped the bombs… Everything went perfectly, then… the plane started malfunctioning, so we ejected… We were close to the insertion teams' base though, so we thought we'd just walk _back_ to the base." Harm said, taking a deep breath as he continued rolling his fingers in circles around AJ's stomach.

"It took us two days to walk back to the base, but we made it, no harm no foul… Except I was walking on a bad leg that I didn't even know about. I didn't feel it, I guess it was all the adrenaline pumping through my body. By the time we got back to the base, I could hardly breathe, barely walk. They had to carry me to sick bay, because I had passed out… They found the collapsed lung and the hairline fracture in my leg… I survived though AJ, I'm home, just like you told me to be." Harm said with a smile as he tilted his head back to look up at AJ.

AJ nodded as he leaned forward and kissed Harm lovingly on the lips "You are, and I am so thankful for that. Now, what about the nightmare? You haven't had a nightmare in a long time." AJ questioned, concern clear on his face.

Harm shook his head "They started returning when I wasn't with you… You're the only one who can keep them at bay. And you're right, I haven't had a nightmare in quite a while." Harm said with a smile as he caressed AJ's face gently, then returned to drawing his fingers across AJ's stomach.

* * *

Clay and Victor left the townhouse in silence as Harm and AJ continued talking to each other on the couch, "Do you think they will be alright?" Victor asked softly once they got into the car.

Clay nodded as he threaded his fingers through Victor's "Of course they will. They've been through a lot in the… nearly… two years that they've been dating." Clay said reassuringly as he leaned over and kissed Victor softly on the lips.

Victor grinned from ear to ear "God, I can't _wait_ to get home! I've missed you… Missed what you do to me." Victor said, whispering seductively in Clay's ear.

Clay groaned as he tightened his hold on Victor's hand, "Maybe we could swing by a hotel for the night, then head home in the morning?" Clay asked, winking at Victor.

Victor nodded enthusiastically as he nibbled on Clay's ear "I love that idea, and I love you for suggesting it." Victor whispered as the two men set off for the Montcalm Hotel.

* * *

AJ smiled as he listened to the front door shut behind Clay and Victor, "So, I've been thinking… and… I want you to tell you the truth about this…" Harm said, sighing heavily as he slowly turned and sat up on the couch.

"They want to promote me AJ, but… I honestly don't know if I want to be promoted… I-I… I don't even know if I want to stay in the NAVY anymore. I'm tired of lying to people, tired of being seen as someone who I'm really not…" Harm said softly as he tucked his good leg underneath himself, fiddling with the drawstring of his sweatpants.

"Harm, I think you would make an _amazing_ Admiral, you know what it takes to sit in the hot seat at JAG, and you've done it before a dozen times… But, if this is what you _really_ want, then I will support you, one hundred and ten percent of the way." AJ said softly as he brushed his index finger across Harm's head, "But if you're doubting yourself in the capacity as an Admiral, I know that you _are_ ready for that appointment. Do you know how I know that?" AJ asked softly, keeping his eyes on Harm's.

Harm shook his head slightly as he looked up at AJ, "Nuh-uh, how do you know?" Harm asked with a smile as he carefully scooted forward, moving even closer to AJ.

"Because… I trained you to be the best that you can be." AJ whispered as he cuffed the back of Harm's neck, pulling him closer.

Their lips collided in a soul-searing kiss, Harm whimpered as he grabbed AJ by the front of his shirt, pulling him backwards onto the couch, hands exploring over every inch of body, and tongues twisting around.

Harm growled in his throat as he ripped AJ's shirt open, tiny buttons flying and crashing to the hardwoods below in a flurry. AJ pulled back and chuckled "Easy sailor – Don't want you to get all hot and bothered just yet!" AJ said soothingly as he brushed a few stray hairs off Harm's forehead.

"Mmm, but I want you." Harm whispered seductively as he pushed his hips upward slightly, his erection pressing into AJ's stomach.

"Harm, let me take care of you tonight… You can hardly move right now baby." AJ said softly as he stroked Harm's cheek softly.

Harm nodded as he shifted on the couch slightly "Can we go upstairs and do this though?" Harm asked quietly.

AJ nodded as he stood up, settling one arm underneath Harm's legs, and then other behind his back, slowly lifting him up against his chest, then carefully carrying him upstairs and into the bedroom.

* * *

After several agonizingly slow hours of pleasurable sex, Harm and AJ laid in bed, sweaty and tangled in each other's arms, Harm's head pillowed comfortably on AJ's chest.

"Are you alright?" AJ asked tiredly as he ran gentle fingers up and down Harm's back softly.

Harm nodded slowly, letting out a sigh of contentment, "Perfect." Harm wheezed, tightening his grip around AJ's stomach minutely.

"Breathing?" AJ asked as he grabbed a fistful of Harm's hair, lightly pulling his head back so the younger man would look up at him.

Harm chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair, then interlocking his fingers with AJ's and pulling his hand away, resting their joined hands on AJ's chest, "Getting better by the minute, don't worry." Harm said as he smiled up at him.

"I love you AJ, but you don't have to keep worrying about me. I'm where I need to be, finally… And unfortunately… You have to start packing the house up, we only have a week to get back to Washington. We have to prepare for a major blow-out when we get back though, because I know that I'm ready to retire. I'm well past my twenty years now, and if our relationship ever got out to those who aren't in our strictest of confidences, everything would come crashing down on me and it would make everything absolutely difficult on the both of us. I don't want to stay in the NAVY for the rest of my life, you understand, right?" Harm asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

AJ nodded as he caressed Harm's cheek softly "I do understand baby, and I accept your decision. Guess the _Enterprise_ did more than just give you a mission to fly… Gave you an insight on your life and what you want out of it, huh?" AJ asked with a smile.

Harm nodded as he snuggled back down on AJ's chest, rolling his fingertips along the fine hairs tangled on AJ's stomach "It really did… I know that I still have nightmares sometimes, but if I retire, I won't have to run off and risk having even more. I could just stay home with you, or we could open our own law firm… I don't know, I'm just ready to lay down my sword and live my not so normal life with the man I love." Harm said as he let out a jaw-cracking yawn, that started a violent coughing fit.

AJ sighed as he gently rubbed up and down Harm's back, soothing away the coughing fit, "Go to sleep Harm, we'll talk more in the morning." AJ said softly as he kissed the top of his lover's head, continuing his ministrations against Harm's back until the younger man's breathing evened out and he fell into a deep sleep. AJ smiled as he relaxed in the bed, following Harm into the land of sleep a few minutes later.


	10. Chapter 10

A week later, Harm and AJ were finally back in DC. As AJ drove up to the house in McLean, Harm noticed two unfamiliar cars in the driveway.

"Welcoming party?" Harm asked curiously as he massaged into his tremoring thigh, grimacing from the pain.

"Of sorts." AJ said quietly as he parked his SUV "Do you need me to carry you inside?" AJ asked softly as he reached over, gently kneading into Harm's trembling thigh.

Harm shook his head slowly "No, no… I'll make it! It… It may just take me a few minutes." Harm said as he slowly got out of the SUV and limped toward the back door, grabbing the crutches from inside.

Harm carefully began maneuvering over the gravel driveway, with AJ standing right behind him, prepared to catch him should he fall. Harm wobbled slightly and AJ quickly grabbed Harm's hips and steadied him, "Good?" AJ asked as he gently rubbed up and down Harm's hips.

Harm nodded slowly as he regained his breath, staring down at the gravel "You need to get this paved… Especially if I'm going to break my leg every few months…" Harm said with a humorless chuckle as he continued moving up the driveway slowly, then up the stairs to stand on the front porch.

"So, are you going to tell me who is inside, or is it a secret?" Harm asked as both men stood outside the front door.

"Just a few friends of mine, some of yours also… They're all willing to help you get through the pain and the nightmares. But I don't want you to worry, none of it will hurt, at least not physically." AJ said reassuringly, gently carding his fingers through Harm's hair.

AJ opened the double doors leading into the house to let Harm enter. Harm carefully moved into the doorway, his eyes going wide as he looked around the room. The living room was bathed in a warm yellow color from the candles lit around the room, there was a soft jazz melody filling the air, and Clay, Victor, Jethro and Tony were all inside, sitting on plush cushions in a semi-circle.

"Wow…" Harm whispered as he continued limping into the living room, his eyes flitting around the room, inspecting all that there was to see.

All the furniture had been pushed back against the walls, there was a large body-length pillow in the center of the semi-circle of men, "Uhm… AJ…" Harm said hesitantly as he stared down at the floor, "I uhm… I can't get down onto the floor – If that's what is meant to be happening here…" Harm said, looking down at his casted leg pointedly.

"Damn it…" AJ breathed out as he ran a hand down his face tiredly "We'll figure something out – Don't worry." AJ said as he looked down at his friends, frowning slightly "Maybe we should do this in the bedroom? He'll be able to get onto the bed at least, and we can still sit around him…" AJ said as he nodded towards the bedroom.

Everyone nodded as they stood up and moved into the bedroom with AJ and Harm following behind them at a slower pace.

* * *

Once Harm was situated on the bed in just his bikini underwear, the five men sat on the bed surrounding Harm. Clay and Victor were at the head of the bed, on either side of Harm's shoulders, and Tony and Jethro were on either side of his feet. AJ sat directly beside Harm at his stomach. Everyone had a hand on Harm's body; Clay and Victor on his shoulders, Tony and Jethro on his ankles and AJ had a hand on Harm's stomach.

"Okay Harm… You have to understand that none of us are here to hurt you. We're only here to help you through the pain, and try to remove all the nightmares that have been haunting you for the past year. Are you sure that you can handle this?" AJ asked calmly.

Harm nodded his head slowly as he closed his eyes "I can handle it." Harm said calmly as he began relaxing and sinking into the bed.

"Good… Just take deep breaths and slowly release them…" AJ said soothingly as he ran his hand up and down Harm's chest and stomach slowly.

Harm did as AJ told him too, a sense of tranquility began washing over him for only a brief moment until his head started spinning and his breathing started hitching, coming in short and rapid gasps.

"He's starting to hyperventilate! We have to get him out of it!" AJ shouted as he watched as Harm's chest rose and fell rapidly, his entire body shuddering against the bed.

Everyone quickly released Harm and got off the bed, AJ quickly cradled Harm in his arms, rocking him softly "Harm… Harm its okay, I'm right here… Come back to me…" AJ whispered in Harm's ear softly.

Harm slowly reopened his eyes, staring up at AJ, baby blue eyes locking onto AJ's caramel brow eyes "I'm sorry… I'm… I'm sorry I can't… I can't do it AJ… I can't go there…" Harm said through tears, his breath hitching as he pulled out of AJ's arms, curling up into a tight ball as he rocked back and forth on the bed.

Everyone had a concerned look on their face as they watched on helplessly, "Harm… What did you feel?" AJ asked softly as he set his hand on Harm's back.

Harm flinched away from the touch and shook his head rapidly, curling into himself even more, tears continually running down his cheeks, his entire body trembling as he rocked himself.

AJ sighed as he slid off the bed and walked out of the bedroom, motioning for the dominate men to follow him out and leaving Victor and Tony in the bedroom with Harm.

* * *

Tony was the first to lay down beside Harm and Victor quickly followed suit. Harm slowly relaxed, unclenching his body as he looked from Victor to Tony and back again.

"What happened, Harm?" Tony asked softly as he snuggled up closely to Harm.

"The dizzy feeling… It just… It brought me back to that night… and… I could feel it… I don't understand, it's been over a year, why can I still feel all the pain from that night…" Harm said as he shook his head, snuggling in between Victor and Tony's embrace.

The two younger men sighed as they kissed Harm's head lightly and continued comforting him, "Harm, it's going to be okay… You know that both of us have been in this exact same predicament… You were there when they put us under." Victor said quietly as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair, looking over at Tony.

Tony nodded his head as he pressed a gentle kiss to Harm's neck "You have to release that fear Harm… That's all we want from you, is for you to release the fear and start being yourself again." Tony said softly as he rubbed Harm's arm up and down softly.

Harm sighed heavily as he laid his head in the crook of Victor's arm, and pulled Tony's arm around his chest, cocooning himself in their endless support "I have to get over the fear, I know that… But, why am I holding back? Why is my brain refusing to let go of it?" Harm asked, sniffling loudly as more tears tracked down his face.

Tony sighed as he scooted in closer, spooning himself behind Harm's body "We can't answer that Harm… You're the only one who can find the answer, and you _know_ that there is only one way you can get there. And that's by letting go of your control. You've given up control before, we've seen you do it, and we know you can do it again." Tony said encouragingly as he stroked his finger across Harm's cheek softly, clearing away the residual tears.

Harm nodded as he carefully extracted himself from Tony and Victor's embrace and moved up to the center of the bed again, lying flat on his back with his hands against his stomach "I have to do it…" Harm whispered as he closed his eyes.

Tony and Victor nodded as they moved up the bed as well, kneeling on either side of Harm's head, "Will you feel more comfortable with us at your shoulders?" Victor asked, looking down at Harm with a frown on his face.

Harm nodded slowly "Yes. You two are my support. AJ is my center, always. And Jethro and Clay are my anchors." Harm said as the sense of calm started washing over him as he drifted into silent thought.

Victor nodded as he looked up at the doorway, their men standing and waiting on the other side. Victor motioned for them to come inside, and Clay and Jethro immediately took up their new positions at the foot of the bed while AJ returned to Harm's side.

Everyone set their hand down onto Harm's body, and AJ smiled as he rubbed his hand up and down Harm's chest and stomach, "Are you ready?" AJ asked quietly, Harm nodded his head slowly "Okay. Deep breathes, slow releases." AJ said softly as he kept a close eye on Harm's body, watching as he relaxed completely and sunk into the bed "What's happening Harm?" AJ asked quietly as he continued caressing Harm's torso.

"It's dark… I'm rolling and I can't… I can't see where I am…" Harm stammered out, his voice wavering slightly, "The car… I'm in the car… It's upside down…" Harm said, his breathes coming in short gasps.

"Harm… just breathe… It's okay, we're all right here." AJ cooed reassuringly as he put a bit more pressure onto his caresses.

Harm nodded "The car is upside down… I can feel the blood rushing to my brain… and… ow… ow… Oh god! My head just… slammed into the roof… They… they removed the seatbelt…" Harm gasped out, his entire body shaking violently, his fists clenching into the sheets.

AJ inhaled deeply as he pressed down onto Harm's stomach firmly, in hopes that this would bring Harm out of it.

Harm took in a sharp breath of air, his eyes popping open widely as he rolled towards the edge of the bed, groaning loudly as he vomited over the side of the bed.

AJ frowned as he gently caressed Harm's back until the dry heaves subsided and Harm turned back onto the bed, slamming his fists down into the mattress "It's no use! I'm fucking done!" Harm shouted as he pulled himself to the foot of the bed, foregoing his crutches as he limped out of the bedroom, then the house completely, slamming the front door as he went.

* * *

Everyone sighed heavily as they watched Harm walk out of the house, "He's going to need extensive… therapy." Jethro said sullenly as he slid off the bed, wrapping his hand around Tony's wrist and pulling the younger man with him close to his side and whispering into his ear.

"I was afraid of that… But… I don't think he can handle it… Especially since he can hardly handle this." AJ said as he dropped backwards on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"He'll have too AJ, he can't keep going like this… Eventually he's going to self-destruct… If he's not already there." Clay said as he turned his head towards the loud slamming that was coming from outside the house.

"Damn it to hell!" AJ shouted as he quickly sprang out of the bed and raced outside and onto the front porch.

Everyone quickly followed AJ out, stopping dead in their tracks as they all stood and watched as Harm pummeled his fist into the siding of AJ's house.

"I think we've finally met Harm's breaking point." AJ commented dryly as he carefully walked over to Harm, staring down at the bloody pool on the porch, then up at Harm's fist that was also covered in blood and splinters from the paneling "Harm..." AJ said softly, watching the emotionless expression on Harm's face.

AJ sighed as he took a step back, shaking his head "You're not going to stop him?" Jethro asked curiously, watching on helplessly as Harm continued thrusting his fist into the wall violently.

"No… I'm going to let his anger run its course – He's never exploded like this before, and now I'm thinking that maybe this is exactly what he needed to get through it. I've been forcing the issue the wrong way… Should have just listened to my first instincts a long time ago instead of trying to do this the _proper_ way." AJ stated as he sat down on the porch, staring up at Harm.

Everyone followed suit and sat down beside AJ, watching Harm with concern as he continued pounding his fist into the wall.

"I'm going to call Ducky, see if I can't get him out here… He's going to need medical attention after he's done breaking the bones in his hand." Jethro stated as he pushed himself back up to his feet and headed back into the house.

The rest of the men continued to watch Harm, worry and concern evident on all their faces. Harm hadn't uttered a single word as he hit the wall. "He's going to do serious damage if we _don't_ stop him." Clay said as he moved to stand up, but AJ put his hand out and shook his head, standing up himself and walking over to where Harm stood.

Harm's body was finally at the point of over exertion, he was now half-heartedly hitting the wall as the tears began streaming down his face in rapid waves. Harm slid to the floor and rested his head against the side of the house, his entire body trembling as he sobbed into the wall.

AJ kneeled behind Harm and waited patiently, gently rubbing up and down Harm's spine "Are you ready to talk now?" AJ asked softly.

Harm nodded slowly as he leaned back against AJ's chest, clenching his fists tightly together to stop them from trembling "The car was upside down, and when my head hit the roof, I blacked out – I know I blacked out for at least a minute – When I came too, I wasn't in the car anymore, I was being dragged across the street. It was pitch black and my eyes were swollen, I couldn't see anything. I felt every hit they delivered, sometimes they used their fists and their feet, sometimes it was a bat, a tire iron… I couldn't move, or breathe… I couldn't even scream. I was helpless, vulnerable and completely out of control of my emotions. There was no lifeline for me to hold onto in that moment." Harm said, his breath hitching slightly as he clutched onto AJ's forearm.

"There were three men… All of them were military, I saw them, and they were all still in uniform… That beating was them telling me that I wasn't accepted in their world as a homosexual male… I know now, that they were wrong, I belonged in the military until I saw fit to leave it, of my own freewill. When they left, I was half relieved, and half panicked, because they left me lying in the middle of the road, I was left for dead. I was terrified, because I was certain that I'd never get to see you again, that I'd never get to touch you again, never know what it was like being loved by you ever again. I started having a major panic attack, and felt the unconsciousness start to take ahold of me… And the last thought I remember was that I didn't want to wake up again, because I feared that if I did, I'd be in a world without you. A world where I'd never known what it was like to be loved by you." Harm stated, with a certain air of confidence in his voice now that he finally got the entire story out into the open.

Harm's eyes never left AJ's as he spoke, and AJ smiled as he leaned down and kissed Harm languidly "You did it." AJ whispered as he gently stroked his fingers through Harm's hair "You did it, and you didn't even have to fall to tell me everything." AJ said softly as he rained feather light kisses across Harm's entire face.

* * *

When Ducky arrived twenty minutes later, everyone else had gone back inside the house, while AJ and Harm were still on the front porch.

Ducky came over to the two men with his black medical bag in hand, "Good evening, gentlemen." Ducky said as he carefully got down onto the porch, kneeling beside Harm.

AJ and Harm both looked up at Ducky with small smiles, "Seems your wall has taken quite the beating, AJ." Ducky said, chuckling ruefully as he held his hand out towards Harm.

Harm sighed as he settled his bloodied hand in Ducky's, turning his head into AJ's chest as Ducky carefully palpated the flesh around Harm's knuckles, causing Harm to growl and wince with every movement.

AJ nodded as he gently stroked his hand through Harm's hair "That it has Ducky. Harm here had a major breakthrough and unfortunately the wall became a victim of that breakthrough." AJ said, chuckling softly as he continued soothing Harm with light caresses.

Ducky nodded as he began pulling antiseptic and gauze bandages out of his bag, "Well, you'll be pleased to know that, the bones, while badly beaten and bruised, none have been broken in any way. Very surprising considering what you did to the wall, Harmon." Ducky said, chuckling softly as he cleaned out the cuts on Harm's hand, then began wrapping the gauze around it.

Jethro walked out of the house with Harm's crutches in his hand, leaning them against the wall near Harm and AJ, "Thanks for coming out Duck – Is everything okay here, physically?" Jethro asked as he sat down on the porch bench.

Ducky nodded as he slowly stood up "Nothing a few pain killers and time won't heal, Jethro." Ducky said as he turned to Jethro and grasped his shoulder, leaning into the younger man's ear "AJ needs some time alone with you." Ducky whispered in Jethro's ear, then as quickly as he came, he was gone again.


	11. Chapter 11

**Just in case anybody was wondering, the Dom/Sub relationship between the men is NOT about sexual submission/domination, it is strictly an emotional sub/dom type relationship.**

 **Each man is equal with their partner sexually, with the obvious Top/Bottom relationships respectively - AJ(T), Harm(B); Clay(T), Victor(B); Gibbs(T), Tony(B), they are all openly gay as well, if that weren't obvious lol.**

* * *

Jethro sighed as he walked over to the two men still on the floor, kneeling down next to Harm, "Harm, why don't you head inside? The guys are getting dinner ready." Jethro said softly.

Harm nodded slowly as AJ and Jethro helped him back up to his feet, Harm grabbed the crutches and inhaled deeply "Thanks." He said quietly as he made his way back inside.

Jethro sat down on the porch bench and looked up at AJ, shaking his head slightly "You could have lost him AJ…" Jethro said quietly.

AJ nodded as he sat down beside Jethro, cradling his head in his hands "I know that Gibbs… God, I know! But he's just… He's so damn stubborn sometimes. Intentionally going out of his way to find trouble – All those years I was his commanding officer… I tried _repeatedly_ to curb the damn man's appetite for danger, but no! He continues to go out there, risking his neck – and for what?!" AJ asked, irritation clear in his voice as he stared up at the inky black sky.

Jethro sighed heavily as he reclined in the seat, crossing his arms over his chest, "He's a military man, AJ… You know what Country, Duty, and Honor means… We – everyone inside – are exactly the same way. Well, save for Clay and Tony since they aren't military, but they both still serve their country in some way. His life does mean something to him, but the lives of everyone else in this world, they mean something to him too." Jethro said, looking up at the star-studded sky, "He needs to do something that he can focus his energy on, that will give him that rush, and have people who will watch his back at all times." Jethro added as he glanced over at AJ briefly.

AJ barked out a laugh "Like what? Working for you at NCIS? I doubt he'd go for that… And that, it's just… It's dangerous still. I honestly don't know how you can stand having Tony doing what he does without worrying about him every second that he's out in the field." AJ said as he slumped in the seat slightly.

"I do it because I know I'll have Tony's six when we're in the thick of it, AJ… And, if I took Harm on as an agent, I'd have his back as well… I protect my people completely." Jethro replied with a slight smile on his face.

AJ sighed as he stood up, shaking his head as he walked over to the porch banister, gripping onto it "I protected my people like that – Harm included – and what did that get me? Ten years of worrying every time Clay pulled him to do a mission. Ten years of worrying when even _I_ sent him out into the field… How is it that you do a better job of protecting your people, than I do?!" AJ asked, turning back to look at Jethro.

Jethro shook his head slowly "I haven't always done a good job at that, AJ… You know that as well as anybody, especially if you've ever seen Tony's medical history since joining NCIS. Hell, if it weren't for me and my obsessive behavior over Ari all those years ago, Kate would probably still be alive…" Jethro said, sighing heavily as he rubbed a hand down his face "But either way AJ, you know me and my work-style. Hell, we've even worked together a time or two. If there is anyone you should trust to keep your boy safe, it's me." Jethro added with a grin as he stood up and leaned against the banister next to AJ.

"Okay, but how do you know if he'll get in or not?" AJ asked curiously, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at the sky.

"Already vetted him with Tom. And Tom thinks that Harm would be a major asset for NCIS. With his legal know-how, a couple judges in his back pocket and all the investigations he's already done, working for you…" Jethro said, shrugging his shoulders as he turned around, looking into the house.

AJ sighed as he also turned to look inside, smiling at Victor and Tony who were sitting on the double-wide recliner with Harm in the middle of them "Why'd you never take Vic under your wing?" AJ asked curiously.

Clay laughed as he came out of the house "Because, I didn't want Vic out playing superhero anymore. I'm the one who bought him his own company, and bought him all the latest technologies. He still gets his adrenaline fix, but he's no longer out chasing the bad guys around the world." Clay said as he shrugged his shoulders, leaning against the banister on the other side of AJ.

"Well, why can't Harm do private investigations like Victor? I mean… it's relatively safe! Hell of a lot safer than becoming a federal agent." AJ said, furrowing his brows as he looked between Clay and Jethro.

"Harm is just too high strung, he can't sit and wait for too long. Harm is hands on, needs to be in the action to feel the gratification of taking a bad guy down." Clay said quietly, looking up at AJ with a lopsided grin.

Jethro nodded as he cupped AJ's shoulder "You don't waste good. And Harm in there, he's _good_ , AJ. No matter what he does, it's never going to be what you want it to be, because at the end of the day, he'll still want to be the hero." Jethro said, grinning widely as he patted AJ on the back.

AJ nodded slowly as he looked in at Tony on the recliner, "I need to speak with Tony then…" AJ stated as he pushed off the banister and walked back into the house "Tony. Bedroom. Now." AJ commanded as he continued walking into the bedroom.

Tony quickly bounced out of the recliner and joined AJ in the bedroom, he quickly dropped to his knees on the floor, his arms locked behind his back and his chin against his chest.

AJ chuckled softly, "This is a social visit, Tony. It's okay, get up." AJ said as he sat on the edge of the bed. Tony nodded as he stood up and joined AJ on the bed, "What's it like? Working for Jethro, I mean?" AJ asked curiously, lying backwards on the bed, his hands behind his head.

"Exciting… Bone-chilling… Scary as hell sometimes. Working with Jethro and everyone at NCIS, it's like being with a family. AJ, if Jethro wants to recruit Harm… While I wouldn't recommend the job to the faint of heart, Harm has a good head on his shoulders and I think the change of career might be exactly what he needs right now. I can see it in his eyes, AJ… He's burned out, tired of working in the NAVY…" Tony said softly, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"When we were in London a few months back, I stopped by the FJA to catch up with him… He looked… God, he looked _so_ bored sitting behind that desk. Harm is _not_ a desk-jockey like most of corporate America, he needs action, something to keep him on his toes. As well as a great team of people who will always have his back." Tony said as he looked up at AJ with a smile on his face.

AJ laughed as he stood up and cupped Tony's shoulder "You and Gibbs have been conspiring against me, haven't you?" AJ asked, an amused look in his eyes.

Tony nodded his head, grinning widely "We've been waiting for the right time to talk about it, guess we've found it!" Tony stated as he stood up and moved back down to his knees.

AJ chuckled as he rested his hand on the back of Tony's neck, gently rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin "You bring it up with him. You'll be the one who puts it out there, and if he jumps at the chance, let me know." AJ said as he released Tony's neck, allowing him to stand up.

Tony quickly sprung up to his feet and went out into the living room to bring Harm back in, as AJ was exiting the room, he pressed his hand against Harm's stomach and kissed him lovingly, drawing his fingertips across Harm's cheek slowly. AJ shook his head as he walked into the living room and pulled the door shut behind him "Hope you're right about this, Jethro." AJ commented as he sat down on the couch.

Tony and Harm laid down on the bed beside each other, their heads turned to face one another, they both sighed "Okay, so what's going on?" Harm asked curiously as he fiddled with the bandaging on his hand.

"We're worried about you Harm, all of us are, not just AJ. You had a major breakthrough tonight, even if it wasn't the way we would have liked for it to have happened… Is there more though?" Tony asked quietly as he curled up on the bed slightly.

"There's always more, isn't there?" Harm asked as he rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, placing his hands behind his head.

"Well, what's bothering you?" Tony asked as he sat up, kneeling beside Harm and looking down at him.

Harm sighed and shook his head "I just… I don't feel right about a lot of things anymore, Tone… When I was supposed to report back here three weeks ago… I thought ' _Great, now I get to sit behind a desk even more_ ' I hate sitting behind desks, I hate pushing papers… I just, I don't like being chained down by political bullshit." Harm stated as he ran a hand down his face then rolled out of the bed, carefully moving to sit on the floor, one leg tucked underneath his body.

Tony frowned as he rolled off the bed and stood in front of Harm, "Why are you on the floor?" Tony asked as he gently ran his fingers through Harm's hair.

"Only place that I can really thing… Could you go get AJ?" Harm asked quietly as he rested his hands on his thighs.

"Alright." Tony agreed as he quietly walked out of the bedroom and looked over at AJ "Harm needs you, AJ." Tony said as he stood in the doorway.

AJ nodded as he hoisted himself up from the recliner and walked into the bedroom, moving to stand in front of Harm, setting his hand down on his lover's shoulder "Thank you Tony." AJ said dismissively, Tony nodded as he walked out and pulled the door shut behind him.

AJ sighed as he gently rubbed Harm's shoulder and neck lightly "Anytime you're ready." AJ said softly.

"What do you want me to do with my life, AJ?" Harm asked quietly, glancing up at the older man.

"Whatever you want to do with it. Gibbs and Tony think you'd it in at NCIS… But it's _your_ life Harm, you are the only one who can make this decision, no matter how much I want to make all your decisions for you" AJ said as he carefully moved down to his knees in front of Harm.

"This is your life Harm, your career. I've already told you, I will support you one hundred and ten percent, and in anything you want to do." AJ said softly, caressing each side of Harm's temples with his thumbs.

"Mmm, I-I-I don't want to be… Oh…" Harm groaned as AJ's hands began moving down Harm's chest slowly "Be… a… DAMN!" Harm growled as he was laid out onto the floor, AJ hovering over him.

"Am I distracting you?" AJ asked with a mischievous grin on his face, Harm nodded, whimpering slightly, AJ sighed as he laid down on the floor beside Harm.

"I don't want to sit behind a desk anymore AJ… So, with that being said… I will _think_ about what Gibbs and Tony are offering." Harm said softly as he carefully rolled over, hovering over AJ. "If you're okay with it… That's what this all comes down too in the end – You being okay with me becoming a federal agent." Harm stated as he laid his head against AJ's chest.

"I'm okay as long as you're happy, Harm." AJ whispered as he stroked his fingers through Harm's hair softly.

Harm moaned as he grinded forward into AJ's body, AJ laughed as he slowly moved their bodies so Harm was lying flat on his back again, "What's got you so turned on?" AJ asked as he leaned in, kissing and nibbling along Harm's neck.

"Oh god… you… you've… got me…" Harm gasped out, his body continuing to arch up and down against the floor.

AJ groaned as he pinned Harm to the floor "Stay still." AJ commanded as he stood up, walking over to the nightstand, retrieving the bottle of lube and losing his clothes as he walked back over to Harm.

AJ got back down onto his knees, setting the lube down beside him, he then hooked his fingers through Harm's underwear, carefully pulling them down, tossing them over his shoulder as he grabbed the lube, pouring a generous amount on his fingertips, then began gently pushing his fingers into Harm's puckered hole.

Harm moaned loudly as his hips shot off the floor, his breathes coming in short gasps, "Easy!" AJ commanded as he pressed his hand against Harm's stomach, lowering him back onto the floor.

Harm whimpered as his bottom lip began quivering, "Please…" Harm begged, biting down on his bottom lip.

"I know what you want, just be patient." AJ said as he coated himself with the lube, then lowered down, pulling Harm's good leg over his back, and placing the flats of his palms against the floor.

AJ slammed himself into Harm in one swift motion, pushing his entire length in to the hilt. Harm shuddered, an ear-shattering scream ripping from his throat and filling the room, "That's it." AJ grunted as he pulled out and repeated the process, continuously slamming his length back into Harm's willing body, with each thrust, and each time causing a scream of pleasure from Harm that echoed in the room.

"Oh god! AJ! AJ! FUCK!" Harm screamed as he clenched his leg down across AJ's back, hot come spitting out of Harm's cock and coating his stomach and chest.

"Good boy." AJ whispered as he arched his back slightly, grinding his hips against Harm's thighs and brushing his lover's prostate with each stroke, then began thrusting agonizingly slow into Harm's body.

Harm whimpered and squeaked as AJ drilled into his body deeply and slowly, his entire body trembling on the floor as he scratched at the hardwoods, looking for purchase on the smooth surface, his head thrashing from side to side, mouth opened in an silent 'O' of ecstasy.

"Almost there… fuck… almost baby…" AJ sputtered, his entire body tensing momentarily, he sharply thrusted into Harm a few more times and then moaned loudly as his release was pulled out of him, filling Harm's insides thoroughly.

AJ collapsed onto the floor beside Harm, both men gasping for breaths, covered in sweat as they laid on the cool surface of the floor, their fingers intertwined between their bodies.

Once Harm and AJ finally recuperated from their post coital-haze, and with Harm being carried in AJ's arms, they walked out of the bedroom and back into the living room, where Victor and Clay were both panting and lying on either end of the couch, and Gibbs had Tony pressed into the corner of the living room, still thoroughly fucking Tony into the wall – screams of his ecstasy echoing in the room.

AJ chuckled as he carefully sat down in the reclining chair, "Seems that we've turned everyone else on too." AJ said softly as he adjusted Harm in his lap.

Harm nodded tiredly as he laid his head against AJ's shoulder, his fingers lazily drawing across AJ's stomach and chest.

"Harm… good squealer… very good…" Clay said brokenly, still trying to catch his breath as he looked over at AJ and Harm.

AJ pointed over to Tony who was still being viciously pounded into from behind "He's squealing." AJ said with a chuckle.

A loud scream filled the air from Tony, who was now slumped against the wall tiredly, Gibbs laughed boisterously as he slowly lifted Tony up into his arms and turned around "He's still a baby." Gibbs said as he carried Tony over to the other reclining chair and carefully dropped down into it.

"Not a baby." Tony mumbled tiredly as he curled up in Gibbs' arms and snuggled in close.

Everyone laughed as they relaxed in their positions on the furniture "I thought I was the baby." Victor said, his bottom lip pouted out.

Clay laughed as he pulled Victor down against his chest and kissed him softly "You are the baby, but you also don't pass out after being ravished like that." Clay said softly.

Victor nodded slightly "Good stamina." Victor mumbled tiredly as he laid back down against Clay's chest and snuggled in warmly.

The men were all nearly asleep when a loud knock on the front door echoed through the house "Great…" AJ mumbled as he looked down at Harm.

"I get…" Harm grumbled tiredly as he slid off AJ's lap, carefully limping over to the door – Not a care in the world that he was completely naked – He opened the front door, leaning against the frame as he groaned loudly "Gibbs… It's for you!" Harm said as he stumbled back towards AJ's lap, snuggling into the warmth of his lover's body.

Gibbs rolled his eyes "I don't feel like getting up… Or waking Tony." Gibbs said as he tilted his head towards the door.

Tobias chuckled as he walked into the house, pushing the door shut behind him, "You guys are a mess… But uhm, anyway… Can I join you guys?" Tobias asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck slowly.

Gibbs shrugged his shoulders "I guess, if you want too…" Gibbs said, nodding towards the empty space on the couch.

Tobias nodded as he stripped down to his boxers and walked over to the couch, he curled up in the corner of it, yawning loudly as he closed his eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

All of the men stayed through the weekend at AJ's house, and now six of the seven men were sleeping on various spaces of the furniture, two of the couples – Tony and Gibbs, Clay and Victor – were wrapped in each other's arms.

Harm was wide awake, sitting at the dining table, his laptop opened and his fingers flying across the keys, he looked up, noticing movement from the living room, then went back to typing.

"Harm, what are you doing awake?" came the groggy voice of Tobias, now standing next to Harm, looking over the younger man's shoulder.

"Writing up my resignation." Harm said quietly, continuing typing rapidly against the keys.

"You're resigning? I heard that you were on the promotion boards." Tobias questioned as he walked over to the coffee pot, pouring himself a mug, then sitting down beside Harm.

"I am, I was… I don't know… I don't want to be in the NAVY anymore… Gibbs offered me a position at NCIS." Harm said, shrugging his shoulders slightly, turning to look at Tobias.

"Hell, if you want to resign, you should come join the FBI! I'd be more than happy to put in a recommendation for you." Tobias said, shrugging as he sipped at his coffee.

"Stop trying to steal my probie." Gibbs said from the couch, carefully adjusting Tony off his chest to stand up and head to the coffee pot. "Why are you here anyway Tobias? Shouldn't you be banging down Brian's door right now?" Gibbs asked as he took a seat on the other side of the table.

Tobias shook his head, looking down sadly, "Brian and I are fighting right now… So, I came here, knowing that at least _somebody_ would be here." Tobias replied quietly, continuing to sip at his coffee.

"You guys talk too much for non-morning people!" Clay grumbled tiredly as he untangled himself from Victor's arms and joined the men at the table with his own cup of coffee.

Harm laughed as he shook his head, "You're one to talk Clay, you're always yammering on about something every hour of the day." Harm said as he returned to typing.

Clay rolled his eyes as he flicked the top of Harm's laptop "ME?! You're the lawyer here! You're the one who talks _more_ than anyone in this room – Tony aside, that boy can talk about _anything_!" Clay said incredulously as he sipped at his coffee.

AJ growled as he stood up from the recliner, "Uh oh… We woke the bald bear." Harm said in a stage whisper, giggling as he looked over at AJ.

"Harm… Watch yourself." AJ warned, pointing at the younger man as he shuffled over to the coffee pot, pouring himself a mug and restarting the coffee maker.

Harm ducked his head as he continued giggling, "Sorry." Harm said as soon as a head slap came from two directions – both AJ and Jethro popping him in the back of the head.

"Hey! I thought I was the only one who was reserved to the Gibbs head slap!" Tony interjected as he came over to Gibbs, wrapping his arms around his lover's chest.

Gibbs laughed as he gently stroked down Tony's arm and kissed his cheek "You don't have all the special privileges, sometimes other people are entitled to some tough love too." Gibbs said as he shooed Tony over to the coffee pot with his mug for a refill.

"So, how long is Victor going to stay asleep?" Tobias asked as they all looked over at the youngest man in the room, curled around a pillow.

Clay laughed as he shook his head "Couldn't tell ya – He can sleep next to an exploding mind and sleep through the entire thing." Clay said as he stared at Victor, a small smile on his face.

Harm sighed as he slapped his laptop shut and stood up carefully, "You guys are distracting me." Harm stated as he collected his own coffee mug and began limping into the bedroom, slamming the door shut with his foot.

"I agree with Harm – A man cannot get a decent sleep with five other men talking!" Victor said grumpily as he rolled off the couch and followed Harm into the bedroom.

Harm laughed softly as he laid down on the bed, re-opening his laptop while Victor snuggled down in the bed, "Couldn't sleep with them out there yapping, huh?" Harm asked quietly as he returned to writing his resignation.

"Nuh uh, now shut up and let me sleep." Victor said grumpily as he laid his head down against Harm's back, snuggling in close as he fell back asleep.

Harm shrugged as he got a bit more comfortable with the weight of Victor on his back, and continued writing.

* * *

AJ sighed as he ran a hand over his face "So, what's going on with you and Brian, specifically?" AJ asked as he refilled his mug, then brought the coffee pot back to the table.

Everyone refilled their mugs, Tobias shook his head "That's just it… I don't know what the hell is wrong… He won't talk to me." Tobias said as he looked down in the swirling black of his coffee.

"Maybe he needs a boy's day?" Gibbs suggested with a raised eyebrow.

Tobias shook his head again "I'm _not_ putting him through that – What happened to Harm's hand?" Tobias asked, looking over at AJ with a raised eyebrow.

AJ groaned as he lowered his head "We pushed him to his breaking point… It was unintentional, but it happened. We – none of us – knew how much pain he was truly in, and after he damn near broke his hand, he broke down and finally let everything out." AJ said, regret clear in his tone, a ragged sigh escaping him.

Tobias nodded slowly "And that's why I'm afraid of bringing Brian out here. If he hits his breaking point, I'm terrified of what might happen… I don't want him eating his gun." Tobias said sullenly as he twisted his coffee cup back and forth.

* * *

Two hours later AJ walked in the bedroom to find that Harm had fallen back asleep, fingers laid across the keyboard, and Victor still snuggling against his back.

AJ shook his head slowly as he walked over to the bed and ran his hands through both guys hair, "Guys, come on, it's time to wake up." AJ said softly as he shook their shoulders.

Both men grumbled incoherently, turning away from the shoulder shaking.

AJ rolled his eyes and looked back into the living room "Clay, how do you usually wake Vic up?" AJ asked curiously.

Clay laughed as he walked into the bedroom and headed over to Victor's side, he leaned in close to Victor's ear and whispered softly to him, which made Victor quickly spring up and kiss Clay on the lips "Kay, I'm up!" Victor said with a giggle as he slid out of bed and trotted out of the bedroom happily.

"What'd you say to him?" AJ asked, raising his eyebrow as he continued caressing up and down Harm's spine slowly.

"That's our secret." Clay said, winking at AJ as he followed Victor into the living room, pinning the younger man against the wall and capturing his lips in a steamy kiss.

"Harm…?" AJ called to the younger man, bending over Harm and lifting his head slightly. Harm made no sound when his head was lifted, his head falling lifelessly back onto the bed "Oh god." AJ said, groaning as he carefully flipped Harm over onto his back, pressing his fingers to Harm's pulse point, which was weak and thready.

"Damn it to hell Harm!" AJ shouted as he climbed onto the bed, as he began doing mouth-to-mouth.

"What happened?!" Everyone shouted as they came into the bedroom, stopping in their tracks seeing AJ doing mouth-to-mouth.

"Everyone needs to get dressed, and someone needs to call 911! I don't know what the hell happened but he's hardly breathing!" AJ shouted as he went back to breathing air into Harm's lungs, "Come on Harm, don't do this to me!" AJ said as he held his ear over Harm's open mouth, then returned to breathing into him, listening as everyone scrambled to get dress, and someone called 911.

"Ambulance is on the way AJ!" Gibbs shouted from the living room, then appearing in the bedroom a few seconds later with AJ and Harm's clothes in his hands.

Gibbs switched positions with AJ, breathing lungful's of air into Harm's mouth so AJ could get dressed, then dressing Harm as best he could. "How long until the ambulance get here?" AJ asked, biting on his fingernails nervously.

"Dispatch said five minutes…" Gibbs said, panting slightly between resuscitating breaths, "Jesus Christ! Come on Harm!" Gibbs shouted as he resumed mouth-to-mouth.

Tony came into the bedroom, switching positions with Gibbs, tears riding down his cheeks silently. Gibbs sighed as he gently patted Tony's back, then guided AJ out of the bedroom, sitting him down at the kitchen table "This has not been an ideal weekend… What's going on with him?" Gibbs asked as he sat down next to AJ.

"Fuck if I know… When he was in Kuwait, apparently he had a collapsed lung from a rough landing… But, now I'm thinking it was more, and the corpsman didn't catch it… I just don't know anymore… I'm really worried about him Jethro… I can't lose him." AJ said sadly, scrubbing his hands down his face in exasperation.

"His lips are turning blue!" Tony shouted from the bedroom, everyone quickly ran into the bedroom.

AJ was at Harm's side in a flash, cradling Harm's head in his hands while Tony moved down to his chest and started chest compressions, "Come on Harm!" AJ shouted as he pressed his lips to Harm's lips when Tony let up on compressions, "Come on baby…" AJ whispered, lightly slapping Harm's cheek as tears rode silently down AJ's cheeks and falling onto Harm's forehead.

* * *

The wailing siren from the ambulance outside made everyone jump out of their skin, but they quickly set into action. Tony and AJ stayed with Harm, alternating positions for CPR and Mouth to Mouth, while Tobias went out to the porch, letting the Paramedics into the house and leading them into the bedroom.

"How old is he?" the oldest paramedic asked while he climbed up onto the bed, kneeling next to Harm's body.

"Forty three." Tobias replied, watching on helplessly with everyone else, fear and concern written on everyone's faces as they huddled together.

The paramedic nodded as he placed his stethoscope against Harm's chest, "I don't have any breath sounds on the ride side… Need the intubation kit." The paramedic ordered, turning to his junior paramedic.

The younger paramedic set the medical bag on top of the stretcher and dug through it until he grabbed the kit, and ambu-bag, handing both kits off to the senior paramedic.

The older paramedic quickly pulled out the laryngoscope, carefully inserting it into Harm's opened mouth, he then slid the endotracheal tube down Harm's throat, "I'm in." the older man said. The younger paramedic nodded as he quickly attached the ambu-bag to the tube, carefully pressing the bag to push air into Harm's lungs.

"Alright, I need the defibrillator! Now!" the older paramedic shouted to the younger man, who was quickly running out to the ambulance to grab the machine, and was back within five seconds, setting the portable defibrillator on the bed, he set the pads on Harm's bare chest, setting the machine at 60 beats per minute.

Harm's limp body jumped off the bed with each shock to his chest, AJ turned his head away and shook slightly "I can't… I can't watch this." AJ said as he slid off the bed and quickly leaving the room, swiping at his cheeks as he left the house entirely.

The paramedics quickly and efficiently worked around the bedroom to get Harm onto the stretcher "He's stable _for now_ , but we don't know how long he's going to stay that way. I'm assuming his husband will want to come along?" the senior paramedic asked as they wheeled Harm out of the room and towards the front door.

"Yeah, he will want to ride with him." Gibbs said as he and everyone else followed the paramedics out of the house "AJ! Harm is being taken to the hospital now!" Gibbs shouted out into the opened woods surrounding the house.

AJ sighed as he came around the corner of the porch "There isn't a need to yell." AJ said sullenly as he walked off the porch and into the ambulance, sitting down next to Harm and interlocking their fingers, his head resting on their locked fist and whispering softly.

"Make sure someone locks that door, then hurry the hell up and get into the car!" Gibbs barked out, hopping off the porch and into his SUV.


	13. Chapter 13

Once everyone had finally arrived at the hospital, they found AJ pacing angrily outside of the closed emergency room doors.

"AJ, what do you know?" Clay asked as soon as he was at AJ's side.

AJ shook his head slowly "Nothing. They won't tell me anything!" AJ shouted as he turned to the emergency doors, balling his fists and slamming it against the door.

"AJ…" Gibbs said from behind the man, "You need to calm down, your anger isn't going to help him." Gibbs said in a calm tone as he directed AJ over to the waiting room.

The six men sat around AJ, all settling a hand against him to give him much needed support "Don't take me under." AJ whispered as he looked down at his trembling hands.

"We wouldn't do that to you, not here anyway." Gibbs said reassuring as he brushed a hand over AJ's bald head, pulling the older gentlemen against his chest.

* * *

Several hours had gone by without word from a doctor, AJ was getting restless with waiting, as were the other men who were all still sitting in the waiting room, leaning on each other for support.

A man in dark blue scrubs came out into the waiting room, looking around briefly, then focused on the men sitting in a far corner of the waiting room "Which one of you is with Mr. Rabb?" he asked quietly, searching the tired faces of all the me.

AJ quickly stood up "I am." He replied curtly, pinning the doctor with a venomous glare, his lip twitching into a scowl.

"We should talk in private." The doctor said quietly, so his voice wouldn't travel to the other men.

AJ shook his head "Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of all of us. We're all family here, and we don't keep secrets from each other." AJ stated firmly, continuing to glare at the doctor, his scowl growing minutely.

The doctor nodded, clearing his throat as he squirmed slightly underneath the scrutiny from the seven men "Mr. Rabb has been experiencing something called Vasovagal Syncope. We've managed to get his breathing and heart rate back to normal, and we had to put him under minor sedation. The only problem is that when a patient experiences a vasovagal response, they can experience memory loss. Often times this is exacerbated by stress, standing for long hours, heat exposure and the sight of blood. Has Mr. Rabb had problems with any of these things?" the doctor asked, looking between the men for an answer.

AJ nodded solemnly, "Yeah, he uhm… he's been under a lot of stress lately. He was attacked nearly two years ago, and he's been experiencing a lot of nightmares since he woke up from the coma." AJ said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck slowly, "I… We need to see him, Doctor." AJ said as he looked around at the five men who had encircled AJ protectively.

The doctor nodded "I'll send a nurse to come and get you all when he's settled in his room." The doctor said as he turned on his head, heading back into the emergency department.

* * *

Twenty minutes later the nurse came into the waiting room, then guided the six men up to the third floor Intensive Care Unit, she took them to room '308', "Alright, so this is his room – The café is on the ground level, but there's also a small concessions area around the corner, which has coffee and fresh pastries. If you need anything else, the nurse's station is just down this hallway here, restrooms are also down that way." The nurse said as she pulled the sliding glass door open, letting them men proceed her into the room.

All of the men took tentative steps into the room, holding their breaths as they looked at Harm who was pale and lying stock still on the hospital bed, "The doctor said he should be waking up within an hour or two, and if he doesn't, the doctor will come back and re-evaluate Mr. Rabb's condition." The nurse said as she left the room, pulling the curtain and door shut quietly.

AJ stood by Harm's bedside, his hands trembling as he grasped the cold and still hand of his lover, "You can't die, not before me… You're too young Harm, and… and you promised me!" AJ said as the tears began running down his cheeks in waves.

"You promised you'd live longer than me… You said you'd give it all up, just to outlive me… Why are you doing this?! Why are you testing everything I have?!" AJ questioned, his grip on Harm's hand tightening just a bit more.

Clay quietly moved a chair behind AJ, sitting him down in it, "Don't leave me Harm… You're all I have left to live for… You're… God, you're everything to me… I can't… I could never go on without you…" AJ sobbed into Harm's hand, kissing it repeatedly.

After several silent moments, AJ lifted his head up and sighed "Someone needs to call Mac and the gang… They'll want to know that Harm's here and what's going on." AJ said quietly as he reached a shaking hand up to Harm's cheek, gently stroking his fingers over his lovers grey features.

"On it." Victor said quietly as he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and walked out of the hospital room to make the calls required.

* * *

AJ sat by Harm's bedside for what felt like hours, just staring at his sunken features, the pale complexion that usually sported a vibrant tan, the oxygen mask that was secured over his nose and mouth, the steady rise and fall of his lover's chest, and the slight hitch that accompanied each breath.

"A…" Harm croaked out, his fingers gripping tightly to the hand holding him.

AJ's head shot up to Harm's eyes which were at half-mast, a sliver of blue shining brightly in comparison to Harm's face "Harm… It's okay, I'm here… I'm right here." AJ said softly as he stood up, carefully brushing the hair away from Harm's forehead.

Harm shakily reached up to the oxygen mask on his face, pulling it down to his chin "What… happened?" Harm asked coarsely as he tried piecing together the information in his own mind.

AJ chuckled as he sat back down in the chair "I honestly don't even know… The doctor said something about a vasovagal something… I don't know what it is…" AJ said, scrubbing a hand tiredly over his face.

"Was I… on a case…?" Harm asked quietly, confusion clear in his facial expression and voice.

AJ shook his head slowly "No, you weren't… You were hanging out with friends…" AJ said cautiously, recalling the doctor's words that Harm may have forgotten certain things.

"Is.. Mac… Okay?" Harm asked, gasping slightly for breathes, his bottom lip trembling slightly, his eyes flicking around the room to the several men in the room, then back at AJ with a raised eyebrow.

AJ nodded as he placed the oxygen mask back over Harm's mouth and nose "Yes, Mac is fine as far as I'm aware… Take some breathes, I'll be here to answer all your questions." AJ said soothingly, releasing Harm's hand slowly and, cupping his hands together in his lap.

After several deep breathes, Harm pulled the oxygen mask back down "Bud? Harriet? Everyone is okay?" Harm rambled on, his words beginning to slur tiredly.

"Everyone is fine, Harm. Nobody has been hurt. You are the _only_ person I know who is in the hospital at the very moment." AJ said as he stared down at his hands, biting nervously on his bottom lip.

Harm nodded as he slid the oxygen mask back onto his face, a low groan emanating from his throat as he turned slightly on the bed, blinking away the tears that welled up quickly.

"Harm… What's the last thing you remember?" AJ asked cautiously, looking up at Harm with sad eyes, and hoping beyond hope that his lover hadn't forgotten who they were as a couple.

Harm slid the oxygen mask back off, taking in the best breath he could, "Mac… the engagement party… Ejecting… over the… Atlantic…" Harm whispered hoarsely, shaking his head slowly as he blinked away the tears and the memories.

"Okay… Get some rest Harm…" AJ said sadly as he stood up, starting to walk out of the hospital room.

"Ad…miral…" Harm called out hoarsely, AJ turned back around and walked back to Harm's bedside, "Did… she… marry him?" Harm asked softly, his breath hitching slightly in the end.

AJ chuckled and shook his head, "No, she didn't. She was too worried about you, cancelled the wedding and never rescheduled. Now, get some rest." AJ said firmly as he slid the oxygen mask back over Harm's face, then quietly walked out of the room, his head hung low.

* * *

Everyone except Tony and Victor left Harm's hospital room, walking down to the waiting room with the coffee and donuts.

AJ slammed his fist angrily against the counter top "That was five years ago! He's lost _five years_ of his life!" AJ near-shouted, his eyes welling up with tears immediately. "He doesn't remember us… He doesn't remember what we've become over the past two years… I guess that could be good, to an extent… He won't remember what happened in London… Then again, he doesn't even know he's a captain, nor that he even went to London… GOD! What am I going to do now?!" AJ asked as he slid down the wall, cradling his head in his hands.

"You'll just have to remind him of what's happened in the past five years… Barring any bad memories, unless he asks to know about it." Gibbs said, sitting down on the floor beside AJ.

AJ nodded his head and sighed heavily, laying his head against Gibbs' shoulder "God help me if I didn't love that man…" AJ said softly, chuckling ruefully.

Mac, Bud and Harriet ran down the corridor, coming to a screeching halt in front of AJ and the rest of the ' _Gentlemen's Club_ ' as Harriet coined it a few months ago when they all came out to.

"Gentlemen." Harriet said softly as she exchanged hugs with all of the men, "How is Harm doing?" Harriet asked as she stared down at AJ expectantly.

"He's lost the last five years of his life… He has no idea what's happened since he was rescued from sea after going down before Mac's wedding." AJ said, sighing heavily, his tone regretful and heavily pained.

"No worries sir! I'll have him back in your loving arms soon enough!" Harriet said with a giggle as she waltzed down the hallway and into the hospital room, pushing Tony and Victor out forcefully.

"Good idea or bad idea, Bud?" AJ asked, looking up at Bud from his spot on the floor, the ever-present tears still in his eyes.

"Good idea, sir. Harriet and I have both known that Captain Rabb was gay since our wedding. He confided in us about it." Bud said softly as he lowered himself down onto the floor with the rest of the group.

AJ nodded his head slowly, inhaling shakily as he laid his head back down against Gibbs' shoulder, taking in the unwavering support of his best friend.

* * *

Harriet sighed as she walked over to Harm's bedside, gently carding her manicured nails through Harm's hair.

"Harriet…" Harm said hoarsely, pulling the oxygen mask down to his chin and taking her hand lightly in his.

"Harm, why are you hiding your memories?" Harriet asked, giggling as she leaned forward, kissing Harm's forehead softly.

"Harriet… Tell me… what's happened…" Harm said, a pleading look in his eyes as he carefully pulled the oxygen mask back up to his face, looking at Harriet with a slightly fearful look in his eyes.

Harriet sighed as she sat down, keeping a firm hold on Harm's hand, "I'll tell you _some_ things, Harm… But I can't tell you everything… Will you be okay with that?" Harriet asked seriously.

Harm nodded slowly, "Yeah, I'm… fine with… that." Harm replied honestly as he laid back in the bed, listening as Harriet caught him up on the past five years of his life.

After what felt like hours of endless rambling, Harm sighed contentedly, a small smile gracing his face, "So, he knows I'm gay… and he knows I'm in love with him… and he loves me? So much so, that he followed me to London, and we've been in a relationship for two years?" Harm recapped the final summary of Harriet's play-by-play.

"Exactly! I can't tell you too much about your two years in London though – I wasn't there nosing my way through your life." Harriet said with a giggle as she stood up, "He's anxious to see you, Harm – The real you, the one _he_ loves – Are you ready to see him?" Harriet asked seriously, squeezing Harm's hand softly.

Harm nodded his head slowly "Yeah, I think I am." Harm said quietly as he pushed the button to lift the bed up, inhaling sharply at the sudden pull in his chest.

Harriet nodded and kissed Harm's forehead, then turned quickly back to the hallway, where everyone was waiting patiently, "He's ready." Harriet announced, looking down at AJ with a smile.

AJ nodded as he carefully stood up, hugging Harriet warmly and kissing her forehead "Thank you, so much." AJ whispered as he released the bubbly blonde and quietly walked into the room, pulling the glass door shut behind him.

* * *

AJ walked over to Harm's bed, standing there stock-still as he looked down at him, a worried expression on his face.

"Well… Are you going to kiss me or what?" Harm asked curiously as he stared back at the man he just rediscovered as his soul-mate, lover and best friend.

AJ chuckled softly "Are you sure you're okay with that?" AJ asked, his hand raising uncertainly.

Harm laughed as he grabbed AJ's hand and tugged the older man closer, "I'm fine with it. It'll feel like the first time all over again, and I love first kisses. Besides, we're practically married, or at least that's what Harriet tells me… So yes, I'd like to have my first kiss with you again." Harm said with a soft smile on his face.

AJ nodded as he pressed one knee into the bed, leaning in carefully as he pressed his lips against Harm's, the first few seconds were awkward at best, until AJ placed his hand on the side of Harm's neck.

Everything flooded back to Harm in that kiss, and he pulled AJ closer, their bodies pressed together as they kissed each other for all they were worth. AJ moaned into Harm's mouth, while Harm whimpered deeply in his throat, both of their hips gyrating as they continued kissing passionately.

"Oh god!" Harm gasped out as their lips finally came apart several minutes later.

"Oh god is right." AJ whispered as he laid down on the bed, holding Harm closely to him.

At that moment everyone filed into the hospital room with bright smiles on their faces "So, is the real Captain Harmon Rabb Jnr back, or are we going to have to suffer through the recklessness that was Commander Harmon Rabb Jnr, again?" Clay asked wryly as he walked over to the other side of the bed.

"OH GOD! No! We are never dealing with _Commander_ Rabb again! _NEVER!_ " AJ stated adamantly, staring at everyone in the room with a pointed glare.

Everyone laughed quietly as they took a seat on the furniture provided, some sitting on the bed. Harm grinned as he looked around the room, linking his fingers with AJ's hand. "Commander Rabb is dead and gone… All that remains is just Harmon Rabb Junior." Harm said softly as he slowly sat up in the bed.

"Since everyone is here – and Vic so graciously reminded me, and I now remember – I've decided I'm resigning my commission, for good this time. And Mac, before you try and dissuade me on that notion… Let me explain." Harm said as he began plucking at the bed spread covering his lap.

Harm took a deep breath and smiled slightly "Over the past two years, some of it is still a bit spotty, but if I remember correctly… I found the love of my life, and I'm settled in a routine that I quite honestly don't want disturbed anymore, by investigations, or having to spend weeks at a time out of country." Harm began, looking around the room for any notes of disapproval, finding none, he continued; "I understand that serving my country is important, but I'm no longer needed in the NAVY. The only place that I am needed, is in the arms of my lover." Harm said, looking over at AJ with a raised eyebrow, "My AJ. My Admiral… This is the only person – Well, with the exception of all our friends – that I want to spend the rest of my life with…" Harm stated as he grabbed AJ's hand, turning himself to face AJ fully.

"AJ, I know you should be the one to probably ask me this, considering I'm _technically_ the female in our relationship… But, would you do me the greatest honor and marry me?" Harm asked, staring lovingly into AJ's eyes.

AJ nodded as he slowly reached up, setting his hand against the side of Harm's neck, "Thought you'd never ask." AJ said with a wink as he brought his lips down onto Harm's, kissing him deeply and lovingly.


	14. Chapter 14

Five months later, Harm had finally retired from the NAVY, he still hadn't made a decision about what he wanted to do regarding his career, but he had several doors that were opened up to him with all the connections he had.

On top of trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, he and Gibbs were in the process of renovating AJ's house. They were changing the one-bedroom, one-bathroom house into a five bedroom six-bathroom escape for all of the men.

Harm smiled as he stood in the doorway to the master bedroom, watching as AJ flipped from one side of the bed to the other side.

"Harm…" AJ's gruff voice broke through Harm's thoughts, as he slowly turned over onto his back, staring at his fiancé's silhouette in the door.

"Yeah?" Harm asked as he carefully removed his saw-dust covered clothes, setting them in the wash basket, then walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

"You smell terrible!" AJ exclaimed, laughing as he caressed Harm's back lightly.

"Yeah well, Gibbs and I have been going at it for the past thirteen hours… I would be surprised if I smelt any better than what I do right now." Harm stated as he turned, tucking his leg underneath his body, reaching up to gently stroke AJ's chest and stomach.

"Going at it you say?" AJ questioned, raising his eyebrow upward as a small smirk crossed his lips.

Harm groaned as he slapped AJ on the stomach lightly "Not what I meant, _at all_!" Harm protested as he hopped off the bed and headed towards the bathroom, "I'm going to go take a shower – You stay right there, because I will be back." Harm said, winking at AJ as he shut the bathroom door.

AJ grinned as he laid back down, resting his hands behind head as he listening to Harm in the bathroom, groaning as he stood underneath the shower, letting the warm water spray down his tattered body. AJ chuckled as he slid out of bed, then collected a highly-recommended – By Clay – massage oils and lit a few candles around the bedroom, he knew tonight would be a restless night if Harm wasn't able to relax completely, and AJ was tired of the tossing and turning that took place nearly every night.

Harm came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, smiling as he looked over at AJ who was sitting and waiting on the bed with the massage oil in his hands, "Trying to romance me?" Harm asked as he walked over to the dresser, grabbing a pair of loose fitting shorts.

"No, I'm trying to relax you… I heard each and every groan, and unless you were jerking off, I figured you could use a massage." AJ replied, grinning as he held out his hand to Harm.

"Nah, no jerking off. I've hardly got the strength to pull on these pair of shirts, let alone try and work my hand along the length of my cock." Harm said as he slid into the bed, lying down on his stomach.

AJ straddled Harm's thighs carefully, then squirted a generous amount of the massage oil into his palm, warming it up for a few seconds, then carefully laid his hands against Harm's back, tenderly working Harm's muscular yet slim frame.

Harm growled as AJ continued working Harm's back, fidgeting slightly with each pass over tender muscles, "What's with the growl?" AJ asked, momentarily stopping the massage.

"Just sore… very sore…" Harm said through gritted teeth as he tried getting into a comfortable position again.

AJ sighed as he went back to kneading Harm's back gently "I tried telling you to take more breaks… You thought Gibbs was a slave driver, but I got news for ya honey, you drive yourself harder than anyone I know." AJ said as he stopped rubbing Harm's back, wiping his hands on the towel then collapsing down onto the bed beside his partner.

Harm sighed as he shrugged his shoulders, slowly turning over onto his side, "I just want to get the renovations finished. I mean, I love doing all this work, don't get me wrong – But, I cannot _wait_ to finish it and have everyone moved in." Harm stated as he slid his hand up AJ's stomach slowly.

AJ laughed as he caught Harm's hand, pulling it up to his lips and kissing his knuckles softly "I think you just miss being with me." AJ whispered as he slowly pulled Harm closer to him.

Harm nodded as he laid his head down against AJ's chest, gently threading his fingers through the fine silver chest hairs, "I do miss being with you. I also miss having muscles that don't ache with every step I take." Harm said, chuckling softly as he tilted his head to look up at AJ.

AJ grinned as he leaned forward, kissing Harm softly on the lips, "You guys are _almost_ done though, I mean, you've got the outer walls up, the flooring is all done… What else is left to do?" AJ asked as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair.

Harm purred deep in his throat as he nuzzled into AJ's chest, a jaw-cracking yawn escaping his lips, "Dry walling, staining the floors… laying the tile in the bathrooms… putting in all the sinks, showers and toilets… trimming and painting… electrical work… so much needs to be done." Harm said, his tone getting deeper between each pause as sleep slowly started claiming his mind.

* * *

Around midnight, Harm woke up suddenly from a deep sleep, a loud moan ripping from his throat as his hips involuntarily bucked forward, a wet heat surrounding his cock, he lifted his head and looked down to see AJ skillfully sucking down his length "Oh fuck!" Harm moaned as his cock hit the back of AJ's throat.

AJ smirked as he looked up at Harm, who was squirming restlessly on the bed "God you're beautiful." AJ whispered as he pressed up on his knees, gently placing Harm's legs over his shoulders, then ran a gentle finger around Harm's puckered hole.

Harm gasped and wiggled even more against the bed, "No… no teasing… please…" Harm begged, biting down on his bottom lip to stop the whimpers from escaping.

AJ chuckled as he patted Harm's legs softly "Alright, if that's how you want it." AJ stated, leaning over Harm's body to grab the lube from the nightstand, their cocks brushing against each other causing both men to gasp from the sensation.

AJ popped the cap on the lube, pouring a generous amount onto his fingers, he began carefully opening Harm's body up to him, "Want it… now… please… please… please AJ…" Harm continued begging, his body writhing relentlessly against the bed.

AJ grinned as he withdrew his fingers, reveling in the pitiful whimper that it drew from Harm, he quickly coated his cock and pressed it against the warm heat "You sure this is what you want?" AJ teased, prodding at Harm to cause more whimpers.

Harm nodded his head rapidly "Yes… yes… please… Oh god… please I want it…" Harm panted out, his entire body shuddering with sheer desire.

AJ chuckled softly as he pushed himself in to the hilt, causing Harm to gasp out, his body arching into the thrust. AJ moaned as he wrapped his hands around the headboard, beginning a deep and slow thrust into Harm's body. "So, what do you want to do?" AJ asked as he looked down at Harm with a grin.

Harm shrugged as best he could, raising his hips up to meet each of AJ's thrusts "Don't… know! I… I kind of… like the idea… of joining NCIS… need more infor…mation!" Harm panted out, squeaking as AJ bottomed out and rotated his hips in counterpoint to Harm's hips. "Just know… that I'm not… ready to retire… yet… if ever…" Harm added as he moaned loudly, his back arching off the bed.

"Retiring… is up to you… whenever you're… ready… I… FUCK!" AJ growled, his fingers tightening around the headboard as he continued slamming into Harm's body.

Harm screamed out, arching into each of AJ's thrusts, "Right… Oh goddddd! Right there!" Harm shouted, his legs clenching over AJ's shoulders as he clutched at the sheets beneath him.

* * *

Harm and AJ laid panting and sated, still tangled up in the sheets as they came back down from their post-coital haze "Not gonna pass out on me, are ya?" AJ asked as he finally caught his breath, looking over at Harm with deep concern on his face.

Harm shook his head briefly "No, I don't think I am… Unless of course I pass out from exhaustion." Harm said jokingly, until he looked up at AJ's face, he frowned "AJ, stop. It wasn't your fault that it happened." Harm said firmly as he pushed up on his arm, looking down at his lover.

AJ laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around Harm's back and pulled the younger man down onto his chest, "Yeah I know, but… I'm allowed to worry about you, aren't I?" AJ asked as he caressed Harm's back softly.

Harm giggled, nodding his head slowly "This is nice." Harm whispered as he snuggled deeper into AJ's chest.

"Mmm, yeah it is. I love having you in my arms." AJ whispered as he continued stroking up and down Harm's back slowly and lovingly.

Harm giggled more as he squirmed against AJ's side "Stop… stop!" Harm said through more giggles as AJ continued running his fingers along Harm's back.

After a few more minutes of tickling Harm's back, AJ stopped and kissed Harm's forehead tenderly "I love you, Harm." AJ whispered as he turned over in the bed, bringing Harm down with him.

"I love you, too." Harm whispered as he hovered above AJ, kissing him on the lips, at first softly, then the more desperate and hungry kisses came as Harm squirmed and grinded against AJ's body, a needy whimper escaping Harm's mouth, his hands ceaselessly moving across the hard planes of AJ's body, then down to the hardening erection lying against AJ's stomach.

AJ groaned when Harm's hand made contact with his cock "Mmm… such magic fingers." AJ said huskily, thrusting into Harm's fist.

Harm nodded as he slowly kissed down AJ's body until he was hovering over AJ's cock, "What about my tongue?" Harm asked as he wrapped his mouth around AJ's cock, slowly bobbing down the length.

AJ groaned as he bucked upward into Harm's mouth, "Magic… everything…" AJ panted out as his hand dropped to the top of Harm's head, his fingers fisting in the short strands as he guided Harm along his length.

Harm smiled around AJ's length as AJ continued thrusting into his mouth, he opened up his throat, allowing AJ's cock to slide in to the base. AJ moaned loudly "Oh fuckkk!" AJ growled as he held Harm's head down on his cock, large shots of come spilling out.

Harm swallowed every drop of AJ's come, then smirked as he crawled back up the bed, kissing AJ softly on the lips "That was good." Harm said with a chuckle as he laid down on the bed, turning onto his stomach.

"You don't want a return?" AJ asked, turning over onto his side, caressing Harm's back softly.

Harm shook his head "Nuh uh, tired again." Harm mumbled as he curled into his pillow, letting out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Mmm, alright…" AJ said around a yawn of his own "Go back to sleep." AJ said as he continued rubbing Harm's back until the younger man's breathing evened out.

* * *

Morning came relatively early for the couple, and with another romp in the bed, the two men laid in a boneless heap of satiation, their fingers tangled together with AJ sprawled out on the bed, and Harm sprawled out on top of AJ.

"Sex with you only seems to get better." Harm murmured tiredly against AJ's chest.

AJ laughed as he wrapped his arms around Harm's shoulders, drawing him into a languorous kiss, "You know you have an insatiable appetite for sex, right?" AJ asked as he carded his fingers through Harm's hair.

"Mhmmm, I know, which is why I'm glad I have someone who can keep up." Harm said as he nuzzled into the juncture of AJ's shoulder and neck, slowly sitting up in AJ's lap and grinding downward against AJ's groin.

"Fuck! Why are you so horny?!" AJ asked as he palmed Harm's rear, pulling the younger man harder down against him.

Harm groaned as his head fell backwards against his shoulders "Can't help it… when I'm around you…" Harm said, gasping slightly as he pushed harder against AJ's body.

"Fuck…" AJ moaned softly as he bucked upward into Harm, "You'd think three hours of sex would be enough for you." AJ said, chuckling as he turned their bodies, pinning Harm's hands above his head, and body down to the mattress.

Harm shook his head slowly, biting back his bottom lip softly "You're such a naughty little boy, aren't you?" AJ goaded as he ground his hips into Harm's body.

Harm nodded as he wrapped his legs around AJ's thighs, "Always for you." Harm whispered seductively into AJ's ear.

AJ growled as he latched onto Harm's ear, nibbling and sucking against it, causing Harm to squeak in pleasure, his legs gripping tighter around AJ's thighs.

AJ groaned as he slid his still lube-covered cock into Harm's body, viciously thrusting into Harm's willing body, causing the younger man to scream out with each of AJ's thrusts.

After they were – again – sated and lying flat on the bed, AJ huffed out a laugh "I love when you scream like that." AJ said roughly, looking over at Harm.

Harm giggled as he slid off the bed "You're the only one who's ever made me scream like that." Harm said as he pulled on a pair of shorts and walked towards the closet.

"Really?" AJ asked as he followed Harm into the closet, pulling on a pair of jeans and a tank top.

Harm nodded as he pulled on a tank top and a button up shirt over it, leaving the buttons undone, "Mhm, the only one." Harm said with a smile as he pulled on his socks and sneakers.

AJ chuckled as he slid his arms around Harm's waist and kissed the younger man on the back of the neck once he stood back up "I'm glad then." AJ said as he and Harm walked out into the living room together, staring at the 'war-torn' room.

Harm laughed as he pulled out of AJ's embrace softly, "Why are you laughing?" AJ asked as he walked over to the coffee mug, pouring three large mugs and turning back to Harm with two of the mugs in his hands.

"Because your living room looks liked a damned war zone… Or a hardware store, whichever you prefer." Harm said as he ran his fingertips across the smooth surface of the plywood panels.

AJ laughed as he walked over to Harm, handing him one of the mugs of coffee, "Hardware store has more appeal… War zone, not so much – Although, definitely hotter men in war zones." AJ said with a smirk as he slid his arm around Harm's waist and pulled him into his side.

Harm growled as he turned his head, biting AJ's ear lightly, AJ laughed as he turned his head, capturing Harm's lips in a soft and loving kiss, "I think I'd rather you in a war zone, wearing your BDU's, covered head to toe in sand and sweat… Yep, that's how I want ya. Dirty and sweaty." AJ said with a wink as he slapped Harm's ass playfully, then quickly moving to the front door and swinging it open.

Gibbs stood there with his hand mid-air, "How'd you know I was already here?" he asked as he walked over to the coffee pot, collecting the already poured mug, swallowing down a mouthful.

"You didn't leave last night… You know, if you wanted to stay over, you could have crashed on the couch." AJ stated as he slid down into his recliner, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

Gibbs shook his head slowly "Nuh uh, as much as I love you guys… Listening to Harm scream all night long would have been hell on me without having Tony here to fix me." Gibbs said with a smirk, looking over at AJ and Harm with a raised eyebrow.

Harm blushed furiously, shrugging his shoulders as he kept his eyes on the wood that his fingers were caressing, with a twinkle in his eyes.

Gibbs chuckled as he leaned against the half-wall diving the kitchen and living room, watching Harm "What's with that?" Gibbs asked, nodding in Harm's direction.

AJ laughed as he turned his head back to look at Harm who was absently sipping his coffee, walking around the "He's practically salivating over the wood… Don't think I've ever seen him so… hypnotized by it before." AJ said with a raised eyebrow.

Gibbs shrugged as he continued sipping his coffee, "I know the feeling, I've had that look many times before… Mostly after I've finished a project though. Never before finishing it… He's got ideas in his head that far supersede anything I have in my head… Then again, it's still early right now." Gibbs said as he walked over to Harm and clasped his shoulder lightly, "You ready to start working, my young apprentice?" Gibbs asked as he looked at Harm.

"I may be younger than you, but I am no apprentice! I've rebuilt my entire loft from practically the ground up!" Harm said slightly angered, he rolled his eyes as he walked off and up the newly built staircase off to the side of the house.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow as he watched Harm storm off "What the hell was that about?" Gibbs asked, pointing his coffee mug in the direction Harm went.

AJ shook his head slowly "He doesn't like being underestimated. Especially when it comes to projects like this." AJ said as he relaxed in his recliner, sipping at his coffee.

Gibbs nodded slowly "Guess I'll keep that in mind for next time then." Gibbs said quietly as he quickly followed Harm upstairs to the newly renovated sections of the house.


	15. Chapter 15

Harm stood in the bare walled hallway, hands on his hips as he stared around the empty bones of what was to be the second story of the home.

Gibbs stood silently in the hallway, noticing that Harm was practically vibrating with anger and it was rolling off the younger man in waves "Looks good so far… Going to need a lot more work, though." Gibbs said from behind Harm.

Harm nodded as he turned to look at Gibbs, venom in his eyes, "Yeah, I _know_. I am used to hard work though… Comes with my background." Harm said tersely, rolling his eyes as he walked down the hall towards the bathroom.

Gibbs sighed as he set to work in one of the bedrooms, listening to Harm angrily lift tiles pallets and line them up against the wall, "Okay… Look." Gibbs said as he dropped his gloves on top of a stack of drywall and walked back into the bare hallway.

"What?" Harm said tensely, seething with anger as he dropped a stack of tiles onto the ground, rounding on Gibbs to pin him with a glare.

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't know you were going to get so angry over a damn nickname." Gibbs said as he stared back at Harm.

Harm shook his head, looking down at the ground "I'm fine, okay? Just let me work and get this damn bathroom done. We have too much to do to deal with frivolous emotions." Harm stated as he turned back to the bathroom, not giving Gibbs a chance to respond to him as he slid his headphones into his ear.

* * *

AJ sighed as he listened to the noises and raised voices coming from upstairs, shaking his head as he stood up and headed into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee and breakfast.

Tony walked into the house, frowning as he sat at the breakfast bar and stared at AJ "This is ridiculous…" Tony said sorrowfully as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"How so?" AJ asked as he spun around, setting a fruit bowl and a cup of coffee in front of the younger man.

Tony nodded his thanks, popping a grape into his mouth "Because, ever since they started this project, I have only seen Jethro a handful of times, and I'm… I miss him damn it!" Tony said angrily as he slapped his palms against the counter top.

AJ chuckled as he set the coffee pot back down and walked around the wall, standing near tone, "Come here." AJ said as he looked down at the spot in front of his feet.

Tony sighed as he stood up and came over to AJ, kneeling on the floor with his head lowered to his chest and locking his arms behind his back.

AJ settled his hand against the back of Tony's neck and rubbed softly until the younger man lifted his eyes, "Eyes on me and get it out of your system." AJ instructed in a calm tone.

Tony nodded as he inhaled deeply, setting his hands on his thighs "I'm lonely when he's here… He has something to do, and I'm stuck sitting at home and waiting, hoping that he'll come home. But he doesn't, he just sleeps outside in the truck, in front of your house." Tony stated as he lowered his head again, sniffling slightly.

AJ sighed as he tapped Tony's neck softly, "Hey, you know he misses you too… And, you know, if you _wanted,_ you could stay here with us at the house… I know the bedrooms aren't finished yet, but the couch pulls out to a bed. And you'd be able to reconnect with Jethro… Because apparently he gets extremely turned on when Harm's screaming his lungs out. So, there are some good benefits to staying here." AJ said, chuckling as he released Tony's neck and walked back over to his recliner.

Tony nodded as he stood up, following AJ to the recliner and relaxing into the older man's side, head rested on AJ's shoulder "I'll stay then." Tony whispered, smiling lightly.

* * *

A few hours later, while Tony and AJ were in the kitchen, making lunch for everyone when the front door opened. Tony turned his head towards the front door and gasped slightly, repeatedly tapping AJ on the bicep.

AJ turned his head towards the door, his eyes going wide as he stared at their unexpected visitor, he quickly cleaned off his hands and walked into the living room "What're you doing here, Brian?" AJ asked the young man standing before him.

Brian sighed, lowering his head "I need to talk to Tony or Harm… It's important." Brian said meekly.

AJ shook his head as he stared down at the short man before him – Out of all the men in their 'circle' Brian was by far the shortest and more feminine of the group – "Well, Tony is in the kitchen… Harm is-…" AJ started but was stopped by a throat clearing from behind him.

"Right here. Saw the car pulling up." Harm said as he brushed his hands down his shirt and nodded towards the porch "Tony! Come on! AJ can finish lunch without you." Harm called towards the kitchen, he leaned forward, kissing AJ on the lips softly then turning and walking out to the porch.

Brian and Tony walked out onto the porch at the same time, and the three men sat down on the banister, looking down at their feet, "Okay, so what did you need to see us about?" Tony asked as he glanced over at Brian, who was sitting in between Harm and Tony, dwarfed by their six-foot-plus heights compared to his five-foot-five height.

Brian shifted uncomfortably on the banister, inhaling deeply as he shook his head "I want Toby back… But, I-… I don't know how I can do that…" Brian said quietly, reaching up to swipe at his tear-filled eyes.

Harm sighed as he shook his head "You should know what you have to do to get him back, Brian… You need to tell him what happened… Why you broke up with him, and then – if he's willing – he might consider taking you back." Harm stated as he looked over Brian's head at Tony.

Tony nodded and put a comforting arm around Brian, hugging him supportively, but Brian shook his head and hopped off the banister "No… No! I can't! If I tell him… He'll… he'll see me… differently and… I-I can't have that! Please! There has to be another way!" Brian pleaded, tears running down his cheeks in waves.

Tony sighed as he hopped off the banister and stood in front of Brian "Brian, he loves you – we all _know_ he still loves you – there is nothing on this earth that will ever make you any less desirable to him, no matter what it is… Tell me and Harm what happened to you." Tony said as he directed Brian to the porch bench, sitting him down. Harm joined the two men on the bench and Brian nodded, inhaling deeply as he began the story.

* * *

AJ stared out the window as the three younger men sat on the bench, twisting his cellphone around in his hand as he waited patiently for anything to happen.

Gibbs bounded down the stairs and looked outside at the three men, then looked over at AJ "What brought him here?" Gibbs asked, almost angered as he headed into the kitchen, grabbing a cup of coffee and a sandwich off the tray.

AJ shrugged as he looked over his shoulder at Gibbs "Said he needed to talk to Tony and Harm, said it was important… I think he wants Tobias back, and I've been contemplating calling him… Should I?" AJ asked, waving his cellphone in the air slightly.

Gibbs nodded as he bit into the sandwich "Even if he doesn't want Brian back, he needs to know that he's hear, and see if he can't get an answer to why Brian broke up with him." Gibbs said as he leaned against the wall, watching out the window at the three men.

AJ sighed as he flipped open his phone, pressing the speed-dial button that would connect him to Tobias' phone, "Hey Toby… Yeah no, everything is fine here, no injuries – yet. Uhm listen, someone showed up at my doorstep about twenty minutes ago that I think you really need to talk to… Yeah… Mhm, he's talking to Tony and Harm, I'm sure they'll convince him to stay long enough to talk to you… You want that? Yeah, alright, I'll call them. Alright, see you soon." AJ shook his head as he shut his phone and looked over at Gibbs "He wants Clay and Victor here as well, turning this into an impromptu boy's day." AJ said with a laugh as he dialed Clay's number and relayed the information.

* * *

Harm and Tony wrapped Brian in a comforting embrace, rocking the sobbing man back and forth as they whispered assurances in his ear. Brian held onto both men, sobbing into Harm's broad shoulder, hiccupping slightly as the tears threatened to choke him.

"Okay… Okay… Bri, you've got to calm down, you're going to start choking." Harm said as he rubbed his hand up and down Brian's back soothingly.

Brian nodded as he inhaled deeply to calm himself, letting out the breath slowly. Tony smiled as he brushed his hand over Brian's sandy blonde hair "That's better, now… Listen to us Bri. What you went through, we know that it was damaging, but you got the help you needed – We don't see that as a bad thing, sometimes our methods don't work so getting outside help is sometimes necessary, and you did that. But breaking up with Toby, because you thought that he would hate you for it? That's just… not right." Tony said, shaking his head and inhaling shakily as he looked over at Harm.

Harm nodded as he cupped Brian's shoulder "What happened, wasn't your fault. Tobias won't judge you, and he definitely won't turn his back on you, Brian… You just need to trust in his love and tell him the truth. That's all he – all we – ever want is the truth when it comes to mental health and physical safety." Harm said as he kissed Brian's temple softly.

Brian nodded as he smiled sadly "I think I should tell everyone what happened – This way they know why I left so abruptly… You guys will be there to support me, right?" Brian asked, looking between the two men. Harm and Tony both nodded as they stood up and held their hand out to Brian, who took both hands and hoisted himself up to his feet, walking together back into the house where everyone – Clay, Victor and Tobias included – were all waiting in the living room.

* * *

Tobias stood up when Brian came into the room, his mouth opened as he stared at his ex-lover, words stuck in his throat as he tried saying something.

Brian smiled as he released Harm and Tony's hands, and quickly made his way over to Tobias, throwing his arms around Tobias' neck. Tobias let out a strangled sob as he wrapped his arms around Brian's back and held him closely, the two men rocking and swaying, "Oh god… I missed you, so much!" Brian cried into Tobias' chest.

Tobias nodded as he held onto Brian just a bit tighter, kissing his head and gently carding his fingers through the soft dirty blond strands, "I missed you too, Angel… I missed you too." Tobias whispered against Brian's head, sniffling back his own tears.

After the heartbreaking reunion of the two lovers, Brian pulled away, swiping away his tears, "I have to do this, but you have to give me a chance to get all the words out…" Brian said, looking up at Tobias with watery eyes.

"Anything you need, Bri. You take your time." Tobias said reassuringly, kissing Brian's forehead then returning to his seat.

Brian nodded as he moved to the center of the room, then slowly got down to his knees, cupping his hands in his lap while Tony and Harm knelt behind him, one hand going to each of his shoulders for the support.

Brian inhaled deeply, "A year ago… I was working at that club, undercover… The unassuming person, the outwardly gay guy who fit into the crowd at the club. I… I was every Dom's dream, the unaging twink who exuded sex through every leather covered pore…" Brian began, his voice wavering slightly, "As you know – Toby – the mission was a success but… What nobody heard, what nobody saw was what happened inside the club… I uhm… The target sought me out almost immediately when I got there that night… He had his crew zero in on me, but, I didn't know who they were – They just… they seemed like normal club goers." Brian said, shaking his head as he clutched at Harm and Tony's knees.

Tony leaned forward, whispering something into Brian's ear. Brian nodded as he lifted his head up again "Two of his men cornered me when I was in the bathroom… they took turns with me, they didn't use any lubricants, or condoms… and, when they left me, I was bleeding, I could hardly stand… After about twenty minutes of just lying on the floor, crying and bleeding, some guy came into the bathroom and found me – He got me to the hospital and did what he could to make me feel safe… After that, I went and saw a medical professional to help me through the mental trauma, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to face any of you with this, I wouldn't have been able to go under with that kind of pain. I never, _never_ , meant to hurt you Toby, but I couldn't face you, or anybody, until I knew I was ready again. I really hope you can forgive me." Brian said quietly, hanging his head once more.

Tobias quickly stood up and knelt in front of Brian, cupping the sides of his neck gently "I… I wish you would have told me, Angel… God, I… I love you, so much… Why, why didn't you think you could tell me about this?" Tobias asked, tears streaking down his cheeks.

Brian shook his head as he looked up at Tobias, "I… I didn't want you… to look at me… differently… or stop loving me… I didn't want you… to reject me… think that I was tainted or something…" Brian said, hiccupping through his emotions.

Tobias frowned as he pulled Brian into his chest, kissing him repeatedly on the forehead, "I could _never_ stop loving you, Brian. You are not different, nor are you tainted. This was _not_ your fault, Angel, and I am _so_ sorry that you had to go through that… You should have never had to endure that alone." Tobias said as he kissed Brian lovingly on the lips.

Brian nodded as he held onto Tobias' wrists tightly, sniffling as he kissed his lover back with fervor, "I love you, Toby… Can you forgive me?" Brian asked softly as he laid his forehead against Tobias' chin.

Tobias chuckled softly as he kissed the top of Brian's head "There's nothing to forgive, Brian. You didn't do anything wrong… How about we go take a walk? We'll talk more." Tobias suggest as he slowly stood up, Brian nodded as he slowly stood up, interlocking his hand with Tobias' hand.

Tobias grinned as he pulled Brian against his side, wrapping his arm around the younger man's shoulder as they walked out of the house together to walk through the woods surrounding AJ's house.


End file.
